How to behave when you have a girlfriend

If you have a girlfriend, your life turns into that of a super spy special agent. No, not because now you are a handsome man and a hero. But because you face the same thing as a person from foreign intelligence.

FORGET YOUR PAST as if it never happened. And do not even dare say a word about him.

1. Rewrite history.

When any ruler with ambitions came to power, he would certainly gather a crowd of chroniclers to … correct history. And they told in history books about how great our tsar is, all his predecessors are just perfect losers.

I’ll tell you a secret, girls want the same from their boyfriends.

Therefore, friend, when you have a permanent girlfriend, sit down and rewrite your love story. Otherwise, you have consequences. Starting from the removal of the brain and three-month offenses and ending with parting, final and irrevocable.

2. You are the best, just put the gun away!

Prepare to admit not only that she is the loveliest in the world, all blush and whiter, but that before her you have never had a single beautiful girl.

The girls don’t mind you being experienced. But they don’t want it to be a pleasant experience. They don’t want to admit it at all. HOW could you be good with someone else?

If you do not want to run into unpleasant conversations, try not to touch your “past life” in conversations at all.

Leave all your exploits in love for conversations in the male company. I understand that I want to boast and show her what kind of male you are, and how the females themselves are on you.

But this is all for the young pick-up boys, leave it to them. Not only is it unpleasant for the girl. Most likely, she will also tease you every time you fight. Why do you need that? That’s right, why not.

And the most fatal crap you can do is, without thinking, blurt out to a girl that you have had girls and are sweeter. After such a phrase, friend, you will understand why hurricanes are called by female names. This will most likely end your relationship.

Why is that? Imagine. A girl meets a man in a club and goes to his house. They walk into his bedroom, and she sees teddy bears everywhere. Along the wall there is a huge bookcase with a collection: at the top there is a huge polar bear, and to the lower shelves there are less and less bears.

The next morning she asks: “How do you like me?” He, sleepily: “You can take your prize on the bottom shelf.”

Agree, you wouldn’t like it very much either. If before your girlfriend you had something better in terms of sex, maybe you should try to teach her something? Just do not give examples from your personal life.

3. Googling means loving.

Do you know who is the coolest detective of all time? No, you guessed wrong. This is your new girlfriend.

The first thing most girls do in the first days of a relationship is to search all your social media accounts.

All lists of friends will be carefully inspected for women.

Be prepared for the fact that your friend will browse the pages of ALL WOMEN from your friend list (even the page of your first teacher). And God forbid, on the page of one of the girls there will be a photo where you are together and you feel good.

Get ready for a serious conversation. Buy a soothing chamomile tea and a body armor. Better yet, try to remove such pictures from the network in advance. And the former are from friends.

4. All lie and deny.

If, having struck up a relationship with a girl, at the same time you did not begin to hide your eyes at the sight of the opposite sex, then listen to what I will tell you. There can be only one thing worse than the truth about your past: the truth about your present.

Actually, girls value honesty. But this does not mean that you need to tell the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth. After some honest revelation, it is quite possible to get several years of strict regime.

Keep quiet and laugh it off if someone asks you: “You just looked at this long one in a mini-skirt?”, “After the corporate party, by any chance, did you give the girls a lift from work?”, “Is it true that you think Jen is a pretty girl? ! “.

There is no need to seriously tell such a truth. She will bring you to a full ass. Even if the jealous interrogation concerns some completely insignificant little things.

And of course, don’t count on the “Sincere confession lightens punishment” rule if you screwed up big.

Did your girlfriend hear rumors that you cuddled with some brunette at a party? You brought two students home from the club by accident and they stayed overnight? Since you’ve messed up the woods: shut up and deny everything.

There are many jokes about female logic. But when it comes to finding out your personal life, the girls are sometimes a hundred times more cunning. Therefore, either do not “sin” or do not get caught! Be careful friend. And good luck to you.