Is it worth it to be friends with the ex? Scientists have finally found the answer!
Before you offer your ex-girlfriend friendship, carefully read the results of this study.
A new study answered the question that torments everyone who has ever been in a relationship with anyone: should you be friends with your ex?
The study was led by a specialist in social psychology Dr. Justin Lemiller. He received at his full psychological order 350 people in the age range from 20 to 30 years.
To begin with, they all compiled a list of reasons why it makes sense to maintain relations with the ex or even exes (if you have not lost any time). After analyzing all the opinions, the Lemiller team identified 7 main reasons:
1. sentimentality;
2. pragmatism;
3. love;
4. children or other general acquisitions;
5. sexual interest has fallen, but human sympathy has remained;
6. maintaining social status;
7. quick access to sex.
Then the research participants were asked to tell for which of the reasons they maintain relations with the ex. It turned out that the most popular reason to continue friendship with the ex is sentimentality. But pragmatism – for example, the delicious food with which the girl’s refrigerator was clogged, or her sexy flatmate – is in last place. The remaining items are harmoniously distributed between these extremes.
In addition, all study participants passed personal tests. It turned out that most often friends with the ex were preferred by those who are inclined to manipulate others and to find personal gain in everything. So do not relax, if your ex every now and then offers to drink “friendly” coffee, – perhaps, all she needs from you is your ability to make macchiato.
Actually, answering the question of whether to make friends with the ex, pay attention to your motivation. At least, this is the conclusion that doctor Lemiler came to during the course of the research. That is, if you are guided by material gain or are in search of meaningless sex, make friends with the ex as much as you (and she) would like.
But if you have a sentimental reason (“She listened to my stories with such interest” or “When she laughs, charming dimples appear on her ears”), it is better to refrain from friendship. Otherwise, you risk becoming a victim of your own unrequited feelings for the ex-girlfriend.