WHY IT IS SO DIFFICULT TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Just imagine how many songs, albums, literary works and many other things are called by this phrase in different languages. And how many times do people easily say it in relation to completely insignificant subjects?

But when it comes to “I love you” in the literal sense and looking in the eyes – here everything is much more difficult, sometimes almost impossible. Why is this happening?

1. Because of the 80s

Some psychologists believe that the faith of the modern generation in a long-term and honest relationship was undermined because their parents were the generation with the highest divorce rates, which peaked in the mid-80s. They do not want to relive this trauma again, and they can still deal with the emotional consequences of it.

For these people, a declaration of love may look like a dive from a high bridge when you are not sure what is under water.

In addition, they may question their feelings. It is becoming increasingly difficult for people to recognize signs of a healthy relationship.

2. Due to the fact that now everything is really complicated

Psychologists note that modern relationships do not follow the map that was used before.

People met, went on several dates, decided not to meet with anyone else, learned to trust each other, fell in love, pronounced “these three words”, and then either officially entered into partnerships and, possibly, got married, or parted and fell into the abyss of the festival of fleeting feelings before starting the process anew. Relations were more or less linear.

Now ambiguity is the essence of a relationship. As a result, people are not sure what their relationship is, not to mention how long they will last.

As soon as someone said, “I love you,” he cannot return everything back. For some people, it is like jumping from a tower, without clothes, in front of the whole school. Maybe this will lead to good fame, or maybe you will just be dishonored in public.

3. Due to too much and affordable choice

There is a theory of consumer behavior, known as the “overload of choice,” which suggests that when people have too much choice, the mental effort required to choose the right option is so great that they refuse it at all. There are so many options for people looking for partners in this era that uncertainty can be chronic.

4. Due to a glut of words of love

There is always that person in life who says that he loves you, on the third date, or all the time, or all in a row. The person who says this when others are not even able to think about it yet, right? There will always be one on him who turns his back and behaves the opposite.

If people meet such a person in their partner, sibling, parent or friend, this may cause them to be “allergic” to these words. The same intolerance develops in those people who were forced to say this in childhood by endless questions: “Why don’t you say that you love your parents?”, “Why don’t you love your mother?”.

Just as parents cannot name their child after someone they hated at school, no one wants to be associated with a phrase that once brought him pain, fear and disgust.

5. Due to the fact that a person is not aware of the power of these words

Including for himself. People are still very often afraid of rejection or lack of understanding, therefore they keep in themselves and do not admit their feelings. People have ceased to understand that having opened to a person, on the contrary, they can establish or determine their relationship, but silent – to ruin everything for both.