The girl offered to stay friends. What to do?
For every man, this happens at least once in his life: a girl who likes, offered to remain friends. It’s hard to put up with this. But the most unpleasant thing in such a situation is that you have little hope. Logic suggests that if you have not received a gross refusal and the girl as a whole is not against communication, then you are missing quite a bit for more. Perhaps she just did not have time to understand how cool you are. And here many make the most terrible mistake – they try to prove to the girl that she is wrong. Why is it so terrible – talk below.
What does it mean, “Let’s stay friends”
Perhaps you yourself realize that women’s yes or no are not always spoken sincerely. If the girl offered communication, it seems that this is a kind of boundary position between “yes” and “no”. But here lies the danger. Even the hardest “no” is just a test, but “let’s stay friends” – most often means indifference to you as a man.
A slightly different situation if you have already met before: you had a serious relationship, sex. The girl offers to remain friends because, in fact, she wants to leave. There may be various reasons for this: it became boring with you, you stopped exciting her – you are no longer perceived as a man. How to deal with this, we will talk at the very end. But much of what will be written below is useful for everyone to know.
Why not try to convince her
Despite the seemingly illogical behavior, randomness of actions and frivolity in views, girls are extremely specific in matters of choosing a man. They reach their verdict very quickly: you either hooked it like a man – a possible sexual partner – or not. The worst thing you can do is try to convince her in words. It never works.
The second, but no less bad thing is to try to impress her. Even if you decide to look after beautifully, all your actions with a high degree of probability will be perceived as the actions of a weak person. Of course, only a stupid lady will refuse beautiful courtship, where a girl is showered with flowers and give expensive gifts. But she will always emphasize that you are just friends.
What to do?
The best advice is to think carefully about whether you need it at all. Have you overestimated its value for yourself. And ideally, just switch to others.
Just take a break (it won’t be any worse) and at least temporarily distract yourself. Then choose a day to think carefully. Do not be surprised, but most of us take almost no time to make sense of our lives. And to understand the feelings, you need a peaceful state and clarity of mind. Just head to the park and turn off the phone. Sitting on a bench on a sunny day, or leisurely strolling, rewind time back and understand for yourself: is this girl you like. To understand everything will help both an analysis of her actions and attitude towards you, as well as episodes from your past life. Perhaps in the evening you will return home in complete confidence that this bitch is not worth you.
In any case, after the girl proposed to remain friends, you have time to think. In this case, it only works for you. After all, if she said this, it is important to take a step back. Below you will find out why.
Temporarily disappear from the radar
So, you still decided that you need it, or just want to get it, no matter what. I hope you understand that the root of the problem lies in you, and the one who you are now is not at all interested in this girl as a man.
Ok, settle for friendship and pretend that it suits you. But stop once and for all doing everything that she asks. After a while, send her to complete ignore: no calls or messages. If she writes or calls herself, she can answer in a monosyllabic, citing employment, but politely and without emotion. Let him think that something interesting is going on in your life. Keep communication to a minimum, ideally to zero. And try not to catch her eye at all in life.
She will try to pull the old strings, especially if your “friendship” lasts a long time, and she’s used to you appearing at the click of her fingers. This is where the process of changing her attitude towards you begins: you are no longer on a leash. The main thing is not to break down and play to the end.
Start changing
You need to actively develop, and you need to do this for yourself, and not for her.
Your image. This is the simplest thing that you can change in yourself in a short time. If you do not go in for sports – urgently start. Burn excess weight (if any) in the morning jogging, exercise every day in the gym or at least at home. Tightened, with direct posture, all girls like without exception. Change your wardrobe, turn to the stylist.
Success. Of course, it is difficult to become successful in a few months: start earning a lot, make a career or build a business. This is almost unrealistic. But a man is always noticeable if he is promising. And there are prospects for those who study a lot – read, go to courses, engage in creativity, have hobbies, travel. Such a man right now may not have the work of his dreams, but he knows what he wants and goes to the goal with leaps and bounds. It’s also good to back up your new interesting life with reports on social networks.
Skills. A successful seducer combines many skills that help in a variety of areas. I write about all this in my blog and talk at the trainings. Now all your time should be devoted to self-improvement. Competent and delivered speech, oratory skills and the ability to charm a girl – all this can be obtained in the near future.
Ideally, you should appear in front of a girl who offered to remain friends, completely different than before. She will have the effect of novelty: you will be perceived as a completely different, attractive man, and not the one written off from the accounts of “friend”. She will think: “How I had not noticed before how interesting he is.”
Seduce
The final step is seduction. Ideally, the meeting should occur in a few months of a complete information vacuum. In any case, this will cause her interest, but you will already be a different person – both outside and inside. It is advisable that by this moment you already have several victories on the front of seduction, so as not to mess up. Since all this needs to be done in parallel with the development of much more.
Girl suggests staying friends after relationship
As I said, there is another option: you already had a relationship, but one day the girl offered just communication. There are nuances here. This can be both a short relationship, and a long marriage. In any case, if you had sex more than once or twice, she already once made a choice in your favor. Now she does not consider you as a man, but she has not forgotten this feeling.
As in the first version, you need to accurately and soberly understand what you want. Perhaps staying friends in this case is really the only right way out. Beloved lovers part with a scandal, and then all their lives they behave as if they are not familiar, or maintain a good relationship. If you yourself understand that there are no previous feelings, it is better to be a man and use parting as a chance to start a new, more successful life. Moreover, it is in this version that something like friendship is possible. You are not strangers. Just don’t let yourself be used.