There will be no love: 5 reasons not to even try to be with someone who does not need you
The agony of unrequited feelings turns even guys from steel into jelly. I clearly explain why the object of desire, to which you are completely indifferent, is not worth a drop of your strength and nerves.
- You will look for reasons in yourself
And you will surely find it. Indeed, on the one hand, it is impossible, inconceivable not to love you, so incredible, so generous, so ready for anything ?! And on the other hand, if you still don’t like it, obviously you are not holding out in anything. You don’t know how to do something, you don’t do it, you haven’t earned something. And you yourself will set goals for yourself, tear the veins, reaching them, – understand that you have not yet been appointed as the chosen one, – find a new bunch of imperfections in yourself, rush to correct them again … How grimly my friend joked, watching my attempts to become an ideal for the sake of a gentleman, whom I essentially did not need (neither ordinary, nor ideal, nor any): “… And they will write on your tombstone:” She tried “.”
- You will spend an incredible amount of energy and time.
“Play with the distance” – a thought that inevitably comes to the mind of a lover without reciprocity. You will try to crawl to a respectful distance. Come closer. Crawl on your knees. Crawl under the skin. “Let’s not see each other for a while” – “Just coffee and chat” – “Why don’t we have sex? Just sex ”-“ Let’s go together for the weekend out of town. ” A person will respond to you with some kind of reciprocity there – namely, “some kind of there”, and not the one that would suit you – and thereby prevent him from getting off the hook. As a result, you will go to a new circle. Then – one more. Then … Well, you understand. The effort and time that you used to “waltz” around the object of adoration would easily be enough to finish the second higher, go around the world, find your true man, live with him in love, give birth to children. Okay, you can without love to the grave and children. But you certainly would have time to accustom yourself to stay away from those for whom you are “alternate airport.”
- You lose friends
Indeed, if a person is your friend, he will not be able to endlessly look at how you self-commit, spend on empty and empty. And at some point he will say: “Listen, you spit. Do not mind it. Go further”. And the first time you hear this from your loved ones, you will surely become furious and denied (“They, relatives, don’t understand! What do they understand at all?! ….”) You will linger in this story for a long time – and, how to drink, around you there will be no one left who really does not care what you do with yourself and your own life.
- You can hardly admit that you are being used
Everyone who has ever been loved desperately and unrequitedly knows what a temptation it is to allow a person to warm themselves. Well, what’s wrong with that? Lovers usually do not insist on anything. They are very comfortable. They themselves literally beg to be consumed. Sometimes they say so bluntly: “I just need to be with you.” And if the one who loves thought with his head why, after such long-awaited meetings, he returns home exhausted and even more lonely, he might have understood something about the true balance of power. But the problem is that those who love with their heads do not think. They do not really have it. One flaming heart, which they carry on outstretched arms, themselves blinded by how hot and discouraging it is.
- And in general – you will not live, but you will wait
When a person deigns to call. To meet. To respond to your affection with something more substantial than “Mmmm … how sweet.” At least somehow indicate the status and development vector of your relationship. And this very “standby mode” is a vile deceit. Passions and thoughts boil inside you, whole worlds collapse and rebuild, and this creates a false illusion that you live a full life. But in fact, you froze, stopped, and life, with all its delightful capabilities, cool meetings and stories, passes by. And it’s very unfortunate that there is no such option – at the end of a sizzling love story, look at the full list of what you missed, and those whom you hollowed out while you cooked in all this. Although, maybe it’s good that not. This list would surely be stunning, huge.
P. S. If suddenly, after reading this text, you think that you yourself have never been in the place of such an unrequited loving person, think about … no, not about how lucky you are. And how often did you keep someone as a “reserve airfield” without feeling any response?
