4 situations in which instant messengers harm your relationship
See how to be if your friend loves long correspondence via SMS or WhatsApp, and you prefer to be limited to the standard “call back later”.
A typical situation: your battery is dead, it sends you a message in the messenger, does not receive an answer, comes up with a dozen of incredible reasons, and finally arranges for you to sort things out. It’s good if I believe you about the forgotten charging house. It’s familiar, right?
In general, it turns out that messengers are evil. And this is confirmed by a study conducted at Brigham Young University (USA). There is a clear connection: the more messages are written, the less satisfaction with relations between both partners. And if in the business sphere an elegant message sent to a place can sometimes even help to make a deal, then the relations in the overwhelming majority of cases are only spoiled due to the messages. Here’s a short list of common problems and solutions.
She loves endless correspondence
She asked a question, you answered him – it would seem that the matter is in the hat. But no. Some women want the conversation to go on and on and on. For them, the written text is much closer to oral conversation than for men. And when they do not get what they want, they begin to take offense.
To solve this problem, it is often enough to simply add a few additional words to your message, as well as show that it is your priority. “OK. Need to Run ”or“ Talk Later ”are too impersonal. Make a little more effort (contact her by name, ask a counter question, promise to discuss the issue in the cafe in the evening) – and everything will be all right.
Didn’t answer – angry
No woman is more dangerous than the one who did not receive a reply to the message! If you understand that you have a busy day and you will not be able to respond to her messages at the same second, warn her about it.
And yes, if you just don’t have the mood to answer, take your time to turn off the phone. Better to write a little than not to write at all. And do not forget about the first point: it is better to write “Thx. I am at the meeting now, ” than dry,“ At the meeting. ”
She’s finding fault with the content of the posts.
According to scientists, men like to send short answers, and women get upset when they receive a simple “aha”. They see this as a neglect of themselves. And it’s not the number of words, but the quality. Example. She writes: “We had a great time with you yesterday. Do you want to go to the cinema on Friday? ”You answer the question in the second part of her message:“ Of course. ” And she is waiting for something like: “I also liked it. Friday suits me. ” Give her that “something like.”
She seems to have a messenger mania
It sounds silly, but constant correspondence can be addictive. Especially if she is very active in social networks: uploads photos of cooked food on Instagram, constantly checks the wall on Facebook, takes one selfie after another.
If her message count is sky-high, talk to her about it. Honestly, that you prefer face-to-face communication, and short SMS help save time to spend it with her.