10 commandments of family life – live together for a long time and, possibly, even happily(Part 2)
- Wish your wife on an ongoing basis
It is logical that sex with a person with whom you share a bed, a refrigerator and a toilet seat from year to year is no longer too attractive. Gradually, sex turns from euphoria into a habit, then into a duty, and then completely disappears, dissolves like morning fog to occasionally flash on the horizon … In general, you understand. So for starters, your task is to turn sex into a duty. It doesn’t sound very attractive, but it works. No matter how tired you are during the day, no matter what distracts you, take time for each other. Do not be afraid that sex will become a habit. First, a good habit, you know. Secondly, the desire to diversify something comes only when this something happens regularly.
- Spend time with your wife, even if you have more interesting things to do.
General leisure – a rescue boat of any relationship. And yes, raising eight common children and working at the adjacent tables in the office are not regarded as joint time. Do not be alarmed; spending every free hour together is optional; just one hour a week is enough. But eight children should be left at home, this time should be devoted only to you two. And it’s better to hold it not in the cinema hall and not chasing pigeons in the park, but doing easy sports. Yes, be sure to spend your vacation together. It is one thing to travel to the relatives of your partner, and quite another is a well-deserved rest under a palm tree twice a year. This is your joint cross. And by the way, the horror of the impending prospect of a face-to-face relaxation is a bad symptom of your relationship.
- Accept your wife’s main weakness, for it is this weakness that can become an apple of discord
Often, when deciding to live together, you and your girlfriend are more or less aware of each other’s bad habits. And if some habits lend themselves to taming, then it is better for others to consciously lay down their arms. For example, when you say to the ardent smoker “Either nicotine or I”, do not be surprised to hear from the clubs of smoke: “Nicotine!”. A person consists of habits. Try to eliminate the basic habits – it is possible that the whole structure will collapse. Remember the pros. Suppose you put up with her smoking. But for this you will not attend two, but as many as five meetings of anonymous asthmatics a week. Imagine how much free time is freed up for golf! The great era begins – the era of compromises, checks and balances.
- Do not wish meaningless quarrels with your wife
Every time you start a scandal, remember what results you want to achieve. Just scream? Get on the cat – in the end, for this their nature created. Any quarrel that did not lead to a specific result, whether it be an action or a decision, is like a stone in a tender carcass of a relationship. Is the girl starting a quarrel? Try to get to the bottom of the conflict. In general, try to hear her claims. And remember to use “i-messages.” That is, not “You filled your whole apartment with your octopuses!”, But “I feel abandoned and lonely among all these octopuses.” So she will quickly understand the essence of your claims.
- Honor the personal space of your wife and defend your personal space
Start with the bed. The bed should be as wide as possible so that in a dream you do not interfere with each other. Very often, people sacrifice comfort in the name of mythical ideas that couples should sleep in an embrace. As a result, people have been interfering with each other’s sleep for years, accumulating irritation on their partner. Of course, a large apartment, in which you can make a wheel and go unnoticed, also does not hurt. But even in a small-sized dwelling, one can acquire personal space. It can be at least a desktop, at least a gymnastic ball. The main thing is that your girlfriend knows: this is a forbidden territory. She cannot get close to her, much less jump on her (if you still prefer a ball to the table). Such a technique creates an individual’s illusion of personal space, which is so necessary when he lives side by side with another person, says our specialist. And you, in turn, must limit your own curiosity and not swap the tubes that she so carefully lines every morning on a bedside table.
