Double and multiply. Schizophrenic as the ideal of a man in terms of women

A woman is absolutely and irrevocably confident that the ideal man should have a mass of mutually exclusive qualities.

You have to be reliable
No matter how many freedoms, rights and privileges women seek, no matter how much they carry jeans and rough boots on the platform, no matter how far they fly into space, they seem to have some kind of strong reliable hands that will protect them from all troubles. Moreover, it is assumed that these hands should grow out of you. Woman is chaos, man is a system. This is the distribution of roles.

But! You have to be unpredictable
She changes shoes every day. Hair color – once a month. A worldview system is as it should, but for two seasons in a row she wears it, that’s for sure. As for the man, then everything is more complicated. Traditional female mythology suggests that one man is better than two, and significantly better than ten – this has historically been the case. But the female impulsive nature as a result suffers, seeing the same timeless cliff next to her all the time – all in the same shirt and with the same supply of jokes that she flattered ten years ago. In the end, she gets bored.

You have to be brave
Open any female novel – practically from any place – and what will you discover? Shipwrecks, fires, dueling and fistfights in the gateway, and in the center of this bloody mess is a hero – aggressive and vicious, like a hamster (I understand that the comparison at first glance does not look good, but imagine how a hamster weighing a hundred kilos would look like The character of the beast is nasty). Courage, recklessness and a tendency to self-harm – all these qualities are highly quoted on the ladies’ romantic exchange.

But! You have to be careful
Most women strongly disagree to lead the life of a friend of the Decembrist. For some reason, all these bandages, patches and close acquaintance with the district police officer quickly lose their romantic halo in the picky female eyes. And here begins “And you need to be able to control yourself”, “They resolve disputes not with their fists, but with words” and “Well, that’s enough for me, I’m leaving for my mother.” And a month later, she was already walking in the moonlight with some highly cultured suffocate who last fought in kindergarten.

You have to be intelligent
Of course. Any woman is pleased when her man knows the name of the capital of Madagascar. Clever words such as “cultural tribulation”, “macabre” and “quasisynthesis” act on many ladies as a magic spell.

But! You must be masterful
It does not require a high IQ to fix the toilet. To be honest, a too high coefficient of intelligence even interferes in the toilet repair work in a high case – hands itch instead of a float to quickly build a perpetual motion machine. But women do not understand this. It seems to them that the ideal man can easily and easily do everything – he can beat the picture evenly, repair the TV, and move the cabinets with one finger. But this, of course, only seems to them.

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