8 ways to improve your girlfriend

How to fit it into your ideal without the use of force.

In fact, there is no equality between the sexes. Take for example a woman. What will she do if she decides to change her man for the better? She will come up to him and say: “No-well-what-belly-you-grew-why-you-not-shaved-immediately-put on that-shirt-which-I-bought-you-you-look- in this t-shirt like a scarecrow. ”

And if the girl does not achieve her goal right away, she will repeat this spell again, and again, and another hundred million thousand times. And in the end, the opponent will howl and do everything that is required of him.

Here’s a simple and easy life for women. Now try to take you. And your girlfriend, who, by the way, is beautiful in everything except … Come on, come on, tell her what kind of “except”. Are you afraid That’s it. Naturally, she will throw a tantrum. What did you want? For some reason, it is initially assumed that any woman is perfection itself. And if you saw some flaw in this triumph of harmony, then it means that something is wrong with your eyes. Nevertheless, do not give up: everything is not so hopeless. You just have to wade in roundabout paths, but it’s worth it.

She has a mustache, almost imperceptible, but still it would be better if they weren’t

Wrong method
Add the sleeping pills to the young lady in cocoa and, using her helpless state, shave. Perhaps she will awaken the violence committed against her, but in a couple of weeks the mustache will grow again – even more magnificent and bushy.

Correct method
In terms of competence in cosmetology, you are somewhere between a collective farm veterinarian and a 1979 binder for your girlfriend. Attract authority. Pay the girl a trip to the beauty salon by bribing the makeup artist in advance to sing horror to her about how quickly the innocent fluff on her lip turns into a big beard, and then painted all the charm of photoepilation.

When she’s drunk, she’s so bad!

Wrong method
The poster “Drinking mother is a family disgrace!” On the wall and neatly cut out from newspapers announcements about getting out of binge, stuffed in all her pockets and bags.

Correct method
Take a picture of her somehow after the sixth strawberry Margarita. Show the most successful shots with the words: “Look how funny you look when you look a little bit. And here even the panties on your head can be seen. It seemed to me that their salad bowl was covering. ” For some reason, such pictures make a strong impression on women: first, the girls instinctively tear them into many, many small pieces, and then for some time they prefer a mineral water to all drinks.

Justin Bieber and The Weekend

Wrong method
Collect all the discs with their gentle tunes and break them with a hammer.

Correct method
Act as a civilized individual. Agree that for every hour of “Sorry” in the living room there will be an hour of “Welcome to the Jungle” Guns N’Roses in the bedroom. And let’s see who is the first to embarrassingly bring two pairs of headphones into the house.

Girl got a little too much

Wrong method
With the words “Something you have already fattened, my love,” remove the patty from her plate. A woman does not forgive a man for such words.

Correct method
Begin with yourself. Sigh about what horrors the sedentary lifestyle has done to your figure, and persuade the young lady to go to the gym with you to support you morally. Do not forget to use phrases like “I need muscles to carry you around the clock” and “Wow, and show once again how you manage to run five kilometers on the track in just half an hour?”