12 ridiculous female myths about men

Women do not know much about men. Much more they come up with!

Myths about men
Myths are called attempts to explain reality, about which you really have no idea. It is not surprising that among the representatives of my gender there are so many myths about men. On the one hand, we kind of give birth to you, educate and teach you not to put your fingers in the socket (and other important parts of the body, in various other bad places). Most women, on the other hand, know you very poorly. There are, of course, exceptions.
Do you want to know what legends and fairy tales circulate about you among us? You will laugh, but most women seriously believe that you …

You never cry because your lacrimal glands are atrophied

Yeah, and after the eleventh serving of Johnny Walker, they brilliantly regenerate. Of course, men on average cry less often than women, but only because in this matter (as in many others) training is also required. And men from the last hundred brutal years from childhood have been persuading them to refrain from tears (before that, the male ability to pour out tears from feelings, on the contrary, was very quoted). Nevertheless, even now, if desired, any guy is quite capable of squeezing out two or three buckets of high-quality fuel. And at the same time, by the way, hit the girl in the heart with his incomparable sensitivity. Because she sincerely believes that you are physiologically incapable of this. They say that women with the help of tears can twist rope from men. But this is such nonsense in comparison with what lace with the help of tears from women men can weave!

Ready to sleep at least once with any woman on this planet

Here, it happened, you look about how, somewhere out there, the secretary is suing her boss for sexual harassment. Then we are shown the very victim of criminal passion. Most often, she does not look quite like the winner of the Miss World contest. Hand on heart, the poor thing is much more like a sick gecko with chickenpox. And you already confidently shake your head and think something about libel, slander, schizophrenia, finally … But here they show us the boss himself – such a normal guy, handsome even, – and he grimacing guiltily, admits: “Yes, that- it was … in a rage … could not bear it … to blame. ” And then we turn off the TV and climb to read a biology textbook, where we are told that in primates and large monkeys in general, males are tough competing among themselves for females, but any females, even the most miserable, can count on an adventurous sex life, because that happiness is not in beauty. In the end, any girl gets used to this thought: what can you do if you are such animals. And he gets a blow under his breath when her beloved animal, looking away, mutters: “I’m sorry, but let’s better be friends. You see, you’re not quite my type … “

Adore dirt

Well, or at least you have a unique innate ability to point blank at not noticing it. Therefore, know that your girlfriend can end a relationship with you for a thousand different reasons. But not because you bred a pigsty in the kitchen and left a soap dish in the bathroom full of soaked cigarette butts. For this, the girl was ready from the moment when she first understood how boys differ from girls. So calmly terrorize the soap box further: in your personal fate, this miserable household utensil is not capable of changing anything.

More than anything, you like to lie under a machine and wield iron pieces in it

Grass is green, birds fly in the sky, and men delve into motors. This is an axiom. At the same time, we still agree to believe in the existence of penguins and vegetation called “Kalanchoe Violet,” but a guy who is not at odds with technology is beyond our comprehension. Our belief in the mystical connection of machines and mechanisms is so unshakable that even if you do not distinguish a screwdriver from a plug, we will still suspect you of some kind of technical omnipotence. And you do not dissuade us, do not. Do not ruin our world in its foundations. After examining a broken teapot, computer or spaceship, make a serious face and say that the nozzle is junk and that you could easily cope with the problem, but you don’t have at hand a detachable screw cutter for 45, without which it is impossible to debug equipment. Therefore, it would be more correct to send the device to the nearest repair shop, where this screw cutter is. Do not forget to encouragingly pat the young lady on the shoulder and say that everything is under control. We adore when they tell us this. Immediately so calm in my soul is done …

You can’t tolerate sweets

Although, by the way, in the diet of an average man, sugar is 11 percent more than in the diet of the same average woman. But we will calmly put our predatory spoon into your dessert, because we will be sure that you ordered it by mistake. Of course, you wanted to ask for a second portion of meat with blood. We would not dare to encroach on him.

I wanted to give a damn about how you look

There is a common misconception among us: you rarely look in the mirror so that, looking at photos from a party, you distinguish yourself from other men in them only by the color of your shirt.

Are a fan of all sports except figure skating and synchronized swimming

Actually, it’s very beneficial for you. Frees up a lot of time for independence. Unless, of course, from the very beginning you will teach a girl that when Pakhtakor plays with Mukaltin, all life in your face freezes, disappears in a sports bar and comes home at five in the morning. (And what can you do? Live broadcast from São Paulo.) The main thing is to chronically remember to pretend that you are an expert on sports. For example, you know how to distinguish a hockey stick from a tennis racket.

You don’t notice what a woman is dressed and how to make up

Unless, of course, you have been living with this woman for a certain amount of time, sufficient for a gracious veil to fall into your eyes, carefully concealing a peeling manicure, a cucumber mask and a home dressing gown — tattered, but beloved. Some men believe: we are in this image solely to demonstrate that we do not care about their aesthetic needs. This is not true. We just believe that you don’t see all this.

Do not like to gossip

If someone finds out something that he is not supposed to know, we a priori assume that the language that spread the infection in secret to the whole world is female. And what men could have attached to the dissemination of information with equal success would never occur to us. Therefore, we quietly blurt out even to the unfamiliar man that we would not blur out even to her best friend. At the subconscious level, we believe that the harm from the secrets told to the man will not be greater than if we were talking with a refrigerator or another equally unobtrusive subject.

You are afraid of marriage, and if you are already married, you envy single friends

The fact that men invented a monogamous marriage, that it is a natural result of the patriarchal system, we don’t remember about that. Modern female mythology categorically affirms: men are by nature lonely wolves, only with great frightening noses in the steel trap of family life. And therefore, any man who is so distraught with feelings so much that he has managed to mumble something like “registry office” is initially considered by us as a valuable catch, which can only be discarded by carefully thinking, carefully examining it and making sure with a sigh that this is for food not good at all. Therefore, so often we get married the devil knows for whom, and will be lucky if we have the courage to get a divorce in a year.

Hate shopping

As you know, money is energy. And people are divided into two categories: one strives for the accumulation and retention of this energy, and the other strives for its constant powerful radiation.

And although these categories are not categorized by gender, women nevertheless believe that it is natural for men to accumulate and to discharge. This pleasant concept implies that you work, and it spends. Not because you are a hard worker, but she is a squad, but because the world works like that. The law of the global distribution of energy – such a thing, you can not argue with it. Moreover, you like working and don’t like spending money. And you’re just not-shopping-shopping! Therefore, at the sight of any man, enthusiastically trying on the fifteenth sweater in a row in a store, we are lost. At this moment, we have a bad feeling that not everything is so simple in this simplest of worlds.