Several reasons to be happy if a woman earns more than a man

If a wife’s high salary becomes a problem, her sources should not be sought in numbers.

There are at least a million texts in the world on the topic “What to do if a woman earns more than a man”. And in each of them, in different languages, advice is given on how to be, so as not to hurt this fragile male ego.

Such articles are always aimed at women who, it seems, should be ashamed of the fact that their work is in demand, that their work is no less serious than that of a man, and they move from the role of “decoration” in a team and with a husband to the status of a valuable employee …

The heroine of such a text, in addition to work, must also:

  • pretend that her success is an accident so as not to offend her partner;
  • to make amends by tripling the efforts to maintain a household in order to show that she serves the family sufficiently, does not act to her detriment;
  • to throw all your strength into strengthening the husband’s ego in areas that do not concern money;
  • inspire your spouse to earn more;
  • eventually, quit a high-paying job because you have to stick to gender roles.

The high salary of a woman is always presented as a problem, although there is no problem. The answer to the question “What if the wife earns more than her husband?” one: to rejoice. And there are many reasons for this.

Why is it good for a man

  1. Next to you is a very smart and purposeful woman

Employers prefer to hire men. Employers began to pay less attention to the marital status of job seekers, but gender preferences remained, so women are forced to agree to lower ones. Competing with men for jobs, women agree to wages below market wages.

So, if your wife got a good job with a high salary, this indicates that she is a really cool specialist – judging by the statistics, perhaps better than the male competitors applying for the same job.

  1. Wife next to you is not about money

Obviously, if a spouse can provide for herself, then she is not with you because she will starve to death without you. Do not be in a hurry to rejoice, perhaps your marriage is reinforced by harmful stereotypes. Or are you a really good person, this happens quite often.

  1. If you lose your job, the world will not collapse.

When one person brings money to a family, its economic well-being is unstable. If you lose your job, it will take some time to find a new job. And disability will lead to long-term financial problems, especially in the absence of insurance.

If both make good money, force majeure will worsen the financial situation in the family, but will not lead to disaster.

  1. You don’t have to be responsible for everything

Being the only breadwinner in the family is stressful, since the loss of a job or a household injury will leave not only you without money. The high salary of the wife allows you to redistribute this burden from two shoulders to four, and so it becomes much easier.

  1. You have more opportunities for self-realization

Equal rights entail equal responsibilities. It is considered normal for a man to provide for a family, and a woman “looks for herself” for some time, for example, goes to courses and trainings. It works both ways.

True, this is not always possible precisely because of the gender difference in income: your family can live on your salary, but not very much on your wife’s income. If your woman gets more than you, there are no such obstacles, improve as much as you like.

  1. You are also given expensive gifts

Men are often outraged that they give a smartphone, and in return they receive conditional socks. And they overlook the fact that a woman often has nothing to save money to buy return gadgets. You will hardly feel prejudiced by finding a PlayStation under the tree instead of shaving gel.

  1. You have an incentive for development and a reason for pride

When talking about salaries, it inevitably comes to competition and leadership in a pair. Maybe it’s time to stop seeing family life as a competition? Nobody wins from the fact that you are constantly pulling the blanket over yourself and want your opinion to be decisive, even if it is wrong.

When someone is improving nearby and gaining new victories, this is a great incentive to develop too, to grow together. In the end, the fruits of your joint work are good for both of you, and the growing family budget is usually good news.

If you want to suppress your partner at any cost, you might be better off seeing a psychologist.

In addition, the wife’s large income does not have to be embarrassed to hide, and you can brag about it. Perhaps the phrase “my wife earns more than me” in a man’s company will cause ridicule. Just add “and more of you” to it and everything changes.

What does it mean

If one of the spouses earns a lot, it is good in any case, no matter what gender he is. Money may not be about happiness, but money helps create a safe space and improve the quality of life for the whole family.

If you see a problem that a woman earns more than a man, then the salary is not the problem. This could be:

  1. Inconsistency with gender roles

Gender roles are a social construct. In addition, if you look at the past, while the men hunted the mammoth, the women were engaged in gathering. Guess who came home with the loot more often?

  1. Feelings of injustice

It can be hard to come to terms with the idea that a wife earns more than a husband, because of the stereotype that a woman cannot work as efficiently as a man. It seems that she is taking someone else’s place (perhaps yours), got to the position in some unknown way and does nothing at all, only gets a salary.

But this is not true. There are no significant differences in the structure of the male and female brain. Moreover, scientists have refuted the main argument of men who do not want to see women in leadership roles: fluctuations in hormones during the menstrual cycle do not affect cognitive performance. Therefore, nothing prevents the ladies from successfully coping with official duties and effectively managing the team.

  1. Loss of control levers

Money means power. Not everyone has the strength and talents to influence something global, so they try to declare tyranny within the family, or at least get the illusion of control. The suspicion of competition as an attempt to take the reins of power can be added to this point.

  1. Deceived expectations

The husband does not care how much his wife earns, but he expected that she would fully serve him in everyday life. The wife does not care how much her husband earns, but she works the same 8 hours and expects that he will take on half of the household responsibilities. He accuses her of careerism, she accuses him of being of no use. Quarrels do not stop, but only where does the salary.

Therefore, if you are seriously worried about the size of a woman’s salary and you cannot rejoice, this issue should be addressed by a psychologist.

By Cindy
November 9, 2020

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