What happens to people in long-term relationships: 5 scientifically proven facts

The other half can affect the way we talk, move, and look.

1. They come up with their own idioms

In pairs, internal phraseological units appear that have no meaning for outsiders.

The language of the “initiates” is a sure sign that people live on the same wavelength. According to the scientist’s research in the field of speech communication, a secret language performs two functions: it holds bonds, romantic or platonic, and also gives rise to a common individuality. Professor Hopper points to a direct link between unique communication habits and intimacy in relationships.

2. They turn off censorship

Most people talk to strangers in a completely different way than with friends and, of course, with a partner. We control our speech and adjust our behavior so as not to make a bad impression and to please the people around us.

Alone with his soul mate, a person retreats from such behavior and switches to natural speech.

We stop caring about what people think of us and stop holding ourselves back. This is more sincere and open.

3. They become similar in appearance to each other

It remains a mystery why dog ​​lovers are like their pets. But we can say with confidence why close people after many years acquire common facial features.

The reason for the surprising effect is described in a study by psychologist Robert Zajonk of the University of Michigan. The scientist wondered why couples who initially do not have much in common gradually become similar to each other?

In search of an answer, Professor Zaejonk’s team asked 20 married couples for photos and arranged them in two piles at random, the first containing the newlyweds and the second a quarter century later. Then the observers looked for couples among them. Finding newlyweds turned out to be problematic. But those who celebrated the silver wedding showed the same wrinkles and facial contours.

For many years, people unconsciously imitated the facial expressions and emotions of their spouses. They used the same muscles so often that they mirror each other.

4. Their speech starts to sound the same

Long-term relationships affect the syntactic structure of speech and its rhythm. This is partly the result of a psychological phenomenon called emotional contagion. Two people start imitating someone else’s speech when they spend a lot of time together.

We imitate everything from accent to the number and length of pauses our partner makes between words and sentences.

Scientists analyzed the text messages of several dozen couples and came to an interesting conclusion: the likelihood of continuing a relationship three months after they met was higher if young people coordinated their sound in terms of vocabulary and language structure.

5. They copy each other’s body language

Scientists suggest that shared life experiences and shared knowledge are the underlying reason why couples repeat each other’s elusive movements. Memories shape a specific body language, gestures, postures, words and phrases. For example, a group of scientists from the University of California noticed the same eye reaction in partners when familiar information sounded in a spontaneous conversation.