How to get over a breakup

Life is not over. And the plan of action drawn up by psychologists will help to make sure of this.

Why do you scientifically feel bad

At the beginning of a relationship, the brain produces oxytocin and dopamine. When a partner is around and everything is fine, the reward system turns on and a whole cocktail of hormones is released into the blood. And it seems to us that we are happy.

After parting, the reward system stops working, the body begins to break down. The stress hormones produced affect the immune, digestive and cardiovascular systems.

The systems that are responsible for the perception of pain are also activated. That is why the brain thinks that we are physically in pain, although in reality everything is in order with the body.

How to get over a breakup

  • Let yourself get hurt

Yes exactly. You don’t need to be artificially invigorated. I want to cry – cry. If you want to shout – shout (just don’t forget about the neighbors who can hear you). Sing sad songs in the shower. Watch TV shows.

You will be told that everyone is breaking up and there is no need to make a tragedy out of it. Don’t listen or try to hide the pain. Nobody knows what is in your soul, except you. If it hurts, let it hurt. Cry until the tears run out, until you feel better, or at least until you feel empty.

Strength will return to you, but it takes time. Each person has his own time.

  • Don’t blame yourself

The decision to break up does not come overnight. And not even in a month. Most often, it is accompanied by a long process of reflection.

The reasons can be very different. But this does not mean that you have missed something somewhere. This means that both of you started to lose contact a long time ago.

The responsibility always lies with both, though not always equally. It is not worth calculating who is more to blame. Look to the future and don’t repeat your mistakes.

Don’t just blame yourself. Yes, you could be less annoyed or less demanding. But your partner could talk to you about it.

  • Don’t try to get your partner back

If it seems to you that there is nothing else left in life and you need to return everything, stop. Fear speaks in you.

It’s scary to be alone after a long relationship. And this is a completely normal reaction.

Don’t give in to fear. Do not try to return the ex with humiliated requests. Even if he returns, nothing good will come of such a relationship.

  • Get busy

When the first acute pain passes, go where you could not or did not have time to go together. Watch movies that you liked but your ex-partner didn’t like. Think about a hobby that was abandoned during your relationship.

Do what you would never do together. This will allow you to feel freedom that was not there before.

  • Move

Many people lose weight immediately after breaking up because they can starve for days. But when the body’s resources are completely depleted, appetite wakes up and weight begins to grow.

At the same time, you do not just want to eat, but to seize a bad mood with high-carbohydrate foods: pizza, ice cream, chocolate. If at the same time you move a little, the weight will grow even faster.

Therefore, you need to move, even if only to a minimum.

  • Make a list of good things

Do you think the world has faded and nothing good is left? This is not true. Your brain simply reacts to stress, and one day the black streak will end.

Until then, make a list of the good things you have. Work, friends, books, a collection of stamps or favorite cups, the taste of hot coffee in the morning, the smell of freshly cut grass, shopping – everything that brings you joy.

Add items to the list regularly, and when things get really bad, reread.

  • Change your surroundings

If everything around you reminds of a former partner, you should think about changing the environment. Can’t leave? Rearrange, buy new curtains or dishes. Changing the color scheme will help you tune in a different way. Experiment.

By Cindy
October 23, 2020

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