7 signs of an inadequate partner on a dating app

You see something similar – it’s better to swipe to the left.

Count how many dead dialogues you have on Tinder. And then estimate the number of unsuccessful dates that ended up ignoring the interlocutor or adding to the blacklist. They are almost wasted time and emotional resources. But it could have been different. Most of the unsuitable partners can be weeded out even before the start of the dialogue and the first meeting. Let’s analyze the most common markers that you and your interlocutor are not on the way.

  1. Requirements for a partner

In the questionnaire, a person writes not about himself, but about the desired partner. What height, weight, hobbies he should have. Yes, sometimes they just list it that way. But often the requirements are disguised as more innocuous formulations: “My height is 192, take this into account”, “We will go to the gym together”, “If you have not watched Rick and Morty, you will see.”

We are all looking for the perfect person. Someone who will meet our requirements. This is totally normal. But, as the popular wisdom says, if you demand – correspond. If a person begins to directly declare what he expects from a partner, and does not say what he can give himself, an alarm bell rings.

Most likely, your desires will be ignored, and later emotional pressure may begin. You will be required to fully comply with the stated ideal. Step left, step right – hello, criticism and humiliation. And this is already abusive.

  1. “I” -formulation

For such people, there is nothing but themselves. Their profiles contain continuous lists of achievements (sometimes artificially exaggerated) and elevation of themselves to the rank of an ideal partner. “The owner of a startup, bought an apartment without a mortgage at 23, I will become the best father to your children – my dogs will confirm”, “While everyone is working in offices with hated bosses, I sit in Bali and work successfully for myself.” Photos of material goods, such as cars, are a bonus.

Congratulations, this is a narcissist man. Such people are also demanding, only this trait is revealed at the stage of communication. They need admiration and receive it in all possible ways. The most common is the already mentioned protrusion of one’s merits and humiliation of others, including a partner.

  1. Self-flagellation

A person deliberately criticizes and humiliates himself in the questionnaire in order to appear poor and unhappy. How it looks: “I am the most ordinary and nondescript”, “Ordinary office plankton”, “I wanted my own business, a yacht and a house on Lake Como by 25, and as a result I drink beer in the evenings.” Probably, such profiles have few photos and it is difficult to determine how the user looks from them.

There are two scenarios. First, the person may be a hidden narcissist. This type of people also has an urgent need for recognition and admiration, but they achieve it in the opposite way. They do not talk about their achievements, but, on the contrary, underestimate them. Agree, when a person doubts himself, you want to support or praise him. This is what the hidden daffodils feed on. Second scenario: such a person can awaken a savior complex in you. And he, in turn, leads to codependent relationships.

  1. Loud promises

Questionnaires often promise a lot. “No one will love you as much as I do”, “Only with you will I change”, “With me your world will become more interesting and fun.” And we are, because it reminds the scripts of our favorite rom-coms, where the life of the protagonist is radically changed thanks to a partner. But in reality everything is different.

Emotional manipulators hide behind such seemingly harmless promises. They will quietly force you to do what they need. Make you feel guilty and question your sanity. To humiliate, hiding behind excuses like “I’m just kidding.” In general, violate personal boundaries and suppress your personality as much as possible.

  1. Vulgar lexicon

When a person uses a dating app to find a sexual partner, they usually talk about it right away. And if in its formulations there are diminutive-affectionate or, conversely, obscene names of genitals – it is worth thinking for a second.

Yes, such a vocabulary might be appropriate. For example, when both are important! – the interlocutor is fond of dirty talks. On this basis, in fact, you can converge. But for someone, “ass” from the doorway is a violation of personal boundaries. In addition, such expressions often speak of a person’s lack of sexual education, as well as infantilism and selfishness.

  1. Jokes about 420

Now users of dating apps describe their preferences in this way, indicating simply 420 or 420 friendly. They can also add a leaf emoji.

Now 420 means not only weed, but the whole spectrum of prohibited substances. Needless to say, drug addicts have psychological problems? I think you already know that.

  1. Lack of photos

Memes, random pictures or “Looking for Mistress” ads – and not a single photo. Or they are, but without a face: a shot from the back, a silhouette in the setting sun, a hand on the steering wheel of a car.

No matter how popular the phrase “Appearance is not the main thing”, in life it is often the opposite. Initially, we choose a partner based on the picture, especially in dating. But this is not the biggest problem of “faceless” people.

The lack of a photo says a lot. For example, about low self-esteem. Some people already in the correspondence when requesting a photo answer: “I’m ugly, let’s better meet.” It may also refer to the latent narcissism we talked about above. In addition, some people are embarrassed to use dating. They are concerned about the opinions of others and possible censure – another marker of a narcissist.

There are a lot of weird people in apps, but there are also normal ones. Tinder alone has 57 million users around the world, and among them there is surely the very person with whom you will find happiness. After all, such stories are real.

How do you filter people out on dating apps? Share your life hacks in the comments.

By Cindy
October 22, 2020

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