Is it possible to remain friends after the breakup and is it necessary

Alas, there are more arguments against than for.

There is a study according to which friendship between former sexual partners is qualitatively different from the initially platonic relationship, and for the worse. We figure out when it is worth maintaining this connection, and when it is still better to abandon the idea.

In what situations you can be friends

  1. The partners have no feelings for each other

It is impossible to make friends when thinking about the ex (or the ex) gives way to knees. However, if your heart no longer clenches every time you hear his or her name, things can work out.

It can be a long and difficult process, but everything is real. It is important that everyone understands that feelings are actually gone. A psychologist or time can help here.

  1. Partners are forced to intersect in everyday life

You need to think about how to interact with your partner so that everyone is comfortable. Moreover, this applies not only to former lovers, but also to the people around them, because of which they cannot interrupt communication.

Friendship is trust and mutual support. If no one is ready for this, but you have to continue communication for some reason, you need to at least try so that it does not slide into endless quarrels and sarcastic statements about each other at every meeting.

  1. Partners were originally more friends than lovers

Initially, there was no passion and romance in the union, the joint future was discussed superficially, or this issue was not raised at all, but there was always respect and mutual understanding. And, although something did not work out in the family plan, the partners are still interested in together and they trust each other. In such a situation, the transition to friendly relations seems quite logical.

When is the best time to end communication

  1. The partners do not and did not have anything in common

It happens that after the breakup, neither man nor woman understands how they managed to live together for several years – they are completely strangers to each other. Lovers disperse and eventually forget the past.

When, apart from the absence of common interests, goals or plans, there are no joint affairs requiring the attention of each of the parties, friendship or maintaining any relationship through force does not make sense.

  1. One of the partners perceives friendship as an opportunity to return the relationship

One is sure that everything is in order: you can share intimate details of your new life, talk about everyday little things and praise your passion. The other, gritting his teeth, pretends that he is glad to hear all this, but in fact hopes that everything will return to normal. He lives with illusions and waits for an imaginary friendship to develop into a relationship. And this is a traumatic experience that will bring nothing but discomfort to one and pain and frustration to another.

  1. One partner has a destructive influence on the other

You should get out of a toxic relationship once and for all. They are unlikely to lead to anything good. And do not expect that after a breakup something will change in the behavior of a toxic person, and friendships will be very different from romantic ones.

Sometimes, after parting, one by all means tries to return the other: he threatens, tries to cause physical or mental harm. If you follow the lead, you run the risk of returning to a knowingly doomed union.

  1. The partners were not friends, even when they were together

If the union was based on passion and other emotions that fade away with time, and there was no trace of a friendly subtext, where would it come from after parting? You had a good time together, but you always turned to other people for support or advice, did not share your feelings with your former lover, and did not trust him. Most likely, after the breakup, he will be the last person you want to come to if you need friendship.

  1. The breakup was too painful

For example, it happened on the initiative of one, and the second did not want to part at all. Or it was all about treason and betrayal. It is difficult to talk about friendship here, at least until the pain and negative emotions subside. And this can take months or even years.

How to keep friendships after breaking up

  1. Take a break and stop communicating for a while to let your emotions subside.
  2. Be honest with yourself: the illusion that things will be the same and the hopes that don’t come true will ultimately bring more disappointment.
  3. Avoid things that remind you of you as a couple. And even more so do not flirt.

To be friends or not to be friends after breaking up is your choice. But be careful not to fall into the abyss of passion and not become a participant in a drama that no one wants.

By Cindy
October 16, 2020

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