The most important thing in a relationship that many don’t think about

Nobody is obliged to make you happy. You yourself are the guarantee of your happiness.

What is the secret of a harmonious relationship

If you ask people what is most important in a relationship, you will get many answers. Among them will be trust, respect, communication, and so on. However, these criteria are united by one factor – emotional self-sufficiency. It is impossible to build constructive relationships without it.

Emotional stability is number one on my list and one of three things I definitely need in a partner. Being emotionally stable is the sexiest thing you can do.

Mark Manson, author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”, says that people who have this trait do a good job of dealing with insecurity, and they can see their flaws and are able to answer for them.

We seek happiness in others, but this is not a reliable source of happiness. Here’s why: it’s not the job of others to meet our emotional needs.

Emotional self-sufficiency is a relationship with yourself: “If you do not love yourself and are unable to provide for your own needs, it will be difficult for you to do the same for others.” Moreover, “active provision of needs” does not mean asking people to do it for you. We are talking specifically about independent work.

Contrary to popular cliches, healthy relationships don’t have the task of complementing, completing us, they don’t start out empty. They need to be built with a whole person. And then trust, respect, communication will come easily and organically.

How to pump emotional stability

Here’s where to start:

Look inside yourself. Put aside gadgets and other distractions. Turn to thoughts, trace where they come from.
Start solving your problems. If you’re bored, find a way to entertain yourself; if it’s painful and lonely, find a way to comfort yourself.
To take the responsibility. We control only ourselves and cannot influence other people or the environment. Determine what you can realistically change and focus on it.

What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship? Share in the comments.