Is it time already or should we wait?

The ideal time for the first declaration of love: how to understand that it has come

“I love you” – although this phrase consists of only three short words and ten letters, it is very important in any language. Let’s be honest, saying it is always exciting and disturbing.

In a fantasy world, you and your girlfriend say these words at the same time – in unison, but in reality it’s not that simple. And when starting a new relationship, you always involuntarily wonder when the right moment for such a serious recognition will come?

There are no hard and fast rules in love and every couple is unique, but there are five questions to ask yourself before uttering this sweet phrase out loud.

  1. How long have you been together?

Have you just started dating? How long has it been since you became a couple? Typically, most people say “I love you” for the first time within three months of dating. But that doesn’t mean you have to do the same.

Ideally, you should be in an honest relationship with your beloved, trust her, feel comfortable and confident with her.

Many people say these words under the influence of the “honeymoon” stage, during which our brains encounter surges of dopamine and oxytocin (known as love hormones). This period usually lasts from the first six months of the relationship to the first two years.

Before declaring your love, try to analyze whether you really like this person as a person or if it is just a passion.

  1. Do you feel obligated to say this?

The most suitable moment for such recognition is different for everyone. But if you feel that it is necessary to confess your love, because it is already “high time” and the girl wants to hear these words, or to save the relationship from disintegration, do not do it.

If you’re not really sure of your feelings, you don’t need to lie. Doesn’t it seem natural to you to say “I love you”? Then it is better to be silent until the moment you feel that it is.

Remember that there is no set deadline when you must confess your love. This can happen within a month or a year, or not at all (this also happens). Just be true to yourself.

  1. Do you say this to hear a confession in return?

Do you think that by telling your girlfriend “I love you”, you will make her answer you in kind? If you are looking for some kind of confirmation of feelings or obligations from your girlfriend, then you should not confess your love, but discuss your relationship and trust in each other.

You should only say “I love you” when you really want to say it out loud without any expectation. Otherwise, it is manipulation and selfishness.

  1. Are you close to each other?

In the early stages of dating, everyone does their best, so of course, it’s easy to fall in love with the perfect version of someone. But nobody is perfect. True love comes when we allow ourselves to be most vulnerable and intimate with another person.

When we are able to see our partners in their worst, most unpleasant and sincere moments and accept them, help them in illness and forgive them for involuntary resentment or quirks, this is a testament to true love.

When can I say “I love you”? When you are able to see the imperfect humanity of your friend and you still want to be with her and not with someone else.

  1. What does your intuition tell you?

How do you intuitively feel about this relationship? Do you constantly doubt your connection, or does everything happen naturally and easily between you? Did she introduce you to her friends and family? Are you her?

Did you go somewhere together? Does she put as much time and energy into your connection as you do? Be honest with yourself. If it looks like love, and all the signs point to it, then there really is love between you, and you may be ready to confess it.

Knowing when to say “I love you” is difficult. But if, after answering these questions, you feel confident that it is time to do it, then act! I sincerely hope that the feeling is mutual.

By Cindy
September 11, 2020

Get Instant Hints