Agree, sometimes it is scary to compliment a female colleague. You may seem like a creepy cretin to her, and a compliment is inappropriate.

Now all worries are over. I decided to reveal the four main rules of a compliment, which will not scare away or make you think that you are a concerned dude who goes beyond the limits of what is permitted.

  1. Don’t talk about yourself

The very first rule of a successful compliment is to completely remove the mention of yourself in it. Even the most harmless compliments that begin with the word “I” evoke intimate associations.

The fact is that when you accentuate yourself, it turns out that no matter what the girl does – she wore a stylish blouse, a beautiful hairstyle or unusual makeup – she does it for you.

Such compliments, even on an unconscious level, are alarming. For example, when you say, “I like this skirt,” you get the feeling that you are more interested in what is underneath. And if you say: “This skirt is amazing,” then it becomes clear that you are a respectable person.

  1. Don’t comment on the female body

To be honest, this point should be obvious, but it’s worth mentioning anyway. Never praise a specific part of a woman’s body. I’m not talking about not complimenting your girlfriend or best friend like that. But you definitely shouldn’t do this at work.

Phrases such as “You have such slender legs”, “You have lost weight” and even “You look great” fall into this category. The maximum that can be said: “Oh, you have a new hairstyle!”

You probably now think that the phrase “You look great” sounds pretty harmless. But in fact, it is often understood as “I would sleep with you.”

Yes, and again just in case. Never comment on changes in people’s weight, because you have no idea why they lost weight. Perhaps your colleague has experienced stress or has been experiencing very strong emotional stress lately.

Also, one should not say that her clothes fit well on her or suit her. You can just say that her outfit is very stylish, forget about the shape of her body.

  1. Don’t forget about professional qualities

We tend to neglect compliments that are not about appearance. Therefore, it’s time to catch up and start to speak positively about the professional qualities of the girls.

Ideally, 90 percent of your compliments shouldn’t be about her looks. For example, a good option would be something similar to the line: “You just beat everyone at this meeting.” You can also formulate a compliment in the form of gratitude: “Thank you for correcting my mistake in the first sentence, I am always amazed at your attentiveness.”

  1. You don’t have to do this

If you are not playing the game of “Say something good about the person opposite,” then in the end you should not squeeze any compliment out of yourself. You just have to understand that not every woman you work with wants to hear from you about how good her shoes look today.

Relax and try to be more tactful next time.

By Cindy
August 16, 2020

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