AFRAID OF BEING BORED? 9 TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF ON A DATE
Is it possible that your last date didn’t go well precisely because you only talked about your boring job throughout the evening? Or talked about what happened in the previous five episodes of Star Wars.
In any case, if you went home, knowing only the fact that she sighs very often and her eyes are constantly watering, it’s time to finally find a new approach to talking about your interests.
So, I have collected nine main answers to questions about how to properly talk to a girl about her hobbies, work and hobbies, so that she, too, would be interested.
- How much should I talk to a girl about my interests?
Remember that on a first date, you should always interest your interlocutor, but not overload her with information. This does not mean that you need to stick to detached topics in conversation that do not intersect in any way with your occupation.
According to many experts in the field of relationships, on the first date, it is precisely necessary to talk about what you are fond of, because this way it will be clearer for you and your girlfriend whether you are suitable for each other.
The main thing is not to retell your whole life as a whole, but to give out information in parts. So that the girl would be interested to find out what’s next.
- What if my interests are strange or not very modern?
If you think that collecting beer bottle caps may scare a girl away, share this information with her a little later. When she is interested in you a little more. But do not put it off until later, so as not to shock the lady.
In fact, passion for what you love is not something that all people can boast of. Some live without it at all, receiving vivid emotions only from some random life moments. By sharing your unusual hobby, you may find that the girl has similar interests, or she will also want to tell you about her atypical addictions.
It is worth emphasizing that her reaction will also depend on how you present this information. If you talk about your hobby with a face red with shame, she can pick up this mood, and it will seem to her that you are doing something stupid. However, if you calmly tell her about your hobby, she will think that this is an important and integral part of you.
- What if my business is my whole life, and I don’t know how to talk about anything else?
Listen, you need to gather all your will into a fist and make an effort to become a more versatile person. And it is not necessary to become one before meeting a girl. Just be honest with her and tell her that you are happy to expand the horizons of your knowledge.
Let her know that you love trying new things and are willing to be interested in what she is passionate about.
- What other information is better NOT to say on the first date?
If you do not want to embarrass the girl and make your communication difficult and stressful, try to avoid topics that are too serious. For example, you shouldn’t tell her about your relative’s illness, the death of a beloved pet, and other facts, after which you become gloomier than usual.
In your early meetings, it is important to maintain a sense of lightness and ease in your conversations. And only then start sharing difficult life situations in order to gain support. Moreover, do not delay this, so that this information, again, does not shock her.
- Is it possible to discuss politics and religion?
On a first date, you probably won’t want to start with a discussion about your relationship to abortion. However, according to experts, these topics do not have to be put off until the wedding.
The fact is that if political or religious issues play a key role for you when choosing a partner, you can ask her about it at one of your first meetings. Maybe after her answer you will not want to go that far and will cut off all contacts with her.
- How can I tell if she is losing interest in what I am saying?
It is very unlikely that a girl will tell you in person that you are the most boring person she has met. Therefore, you will have to look for signs that she has become uninteresting with you on her own.
Pay attention to her behavior during the conversation. If she begins to turn in the other direction or sink deeper into the chair, these are the first signs that you need to change the topic of conversation.
Don’t forget about eye contact. When a girl begins to close her eyes for short and not very periods of time, most likely she will fall asleep now. The signal that it is time to change the topic of the conversation is also her wandering gaze and the lack of affirmative nods to which all people resort when listening to the interlocutor.
It’s even worse if she just pulls out her phone and starts flipping through her Facebook feed.
- When should I shut up?
Your dialogue with a girl should be mutual. If you find that your conversation is out of balance, it’s time to turn over to her and start listening.
Believe me, it is important for almost every person to be listened to. It is important for women that you can not only tell something, but also listen and understand. So remember to be attentive and try to make sure that you don’t dominate the conversation.
- How to show a girl that I am listening to her?
For this you need to be an active listener. You should not only nod your head and not turn around, but also ask leading questions, which she will happily answer.
And if you listened to her well, remember one of the points in her story and come back to it later. For example, she mentioned that she played basketball well in school. When your current topic is over, you might ask, “How long have you been playing basketball? What team did you support? “
- How many questions can I ask so as not to overdo it?
You don’t want your date to feel like a job interview. So just try to refrain from listing one question after another. Your conversation should be natural. Remember that at some point you will have to tell her about your interests.
For example, if a girl starts talking about her favorite cafes and restaurants, share your preferences in that area. Just be light and relaxed.