So, you offended her, brought her to tears, and now she tries to forget your name. I understand that the situation is not easy, but it is quite possible to get out of it without losses.

But before you want to use the advice, remember one important rule: ask the girl for forgiveness only if you fully admit your guilt and are ready to make amends for her with all awareness.

If this is about you, let’s move on to practical recommendations.

Preparing for an apology

Before you start your fiery speech with words of remorse and despair, you should mentally prepare for this and understand how badly you screwed up and what shocks your girlfriend experienced after that.

Calm down and take a short break

You have to understand that in the power of emotions it is impossible to have a constructive conversation. If at least one of you has experienced serious stress after a quarrel, it is worth taking a short pause, collecting your thoughts and calm down a little in order to be ready to adequately analyze the situation.

You should not immediately rush to her knees and beg for mercy after you have done something unpleasant. Give yourself and your girlfriend time to solve all the problems in an adult way.

Understand where you were wrong

We all tend to justify our mistakes by shifting the blame onto another person. Therefore, before apologizing to your girlfriend, make sure that you do not say: “You, of course, excuse me, but I think that I am not guilty of anything.” Even if you are really innocent (which is unlikely), this approach will be a losing one.

In order to sound sincere and receive the forgiveness you deserve, you need to reflect on everything that you have done. Try not to lie to yourself and find out the real reason for your quarrel.

In the process of so-called self-digging, you can come to unexpected conclusions that will lead you to identify all the mistakes and readiness for repentance.

Choose where and how to apologize

Now all you have to do is figure out where you will apologize to your girlfriend in order to take the first step towards restoring your relationship.

If you live with her and will see each other anyway, make sure that nothing will distract you. If you understand that this is hardly possible, invite her to some cafe to talk in private.

Here is a rough algorithm of actions that must be followed if you meet face to face:

  • start by saying that you fully admit your guilt and understand the gravity of what you have done;
  • try to give an explanation of your actions, and it will certainly be credited to you. If you find it difficult to find a justification for your actions, try to dig a little deeper and say, for example, that you were rude to her because of not quite correct upbringing in childhood and not the best example of communication in the family, but also because of the current toxic environment, the influence of which it is not quite possible to level it yet;
  • now say simple words of forgiveness that should sound honest and sincere;
  • after that, tell your girlfriend that you realize your mistake and therefore you are never going to repeat it again;
  • do not forget to say that you value your relationship and value it very much, therefore, I am ready to do everything possible so as not to upset her so much;
  • if you see that your girlfriend has begun to soften a little, try to lightly touch her hand, and if you notice that she doesn’t mind, try to hug her gently.

Looks easy, right? However, remember that the girl will not necessarily silently listen to your explanations.

Listen to your girlfriend’s position

As you already understood, it is unlikely that your apology will be one big sentimental monologue. It is possible that at some point your girlfriend wants to express her opinion about what happened.

Last tip

If you think that the girl was offended just like that, and you are not guilty of anything, try to analyze this situation in more detail, looking at it not only from your side.

Sometimes guys mistakenly think that girls make scandals and whims from scratch for the sake of … fun, because this should be a kind of shake-up for a relationship or a way to make a man more agreeable.

But, by and large, the guys just see the situation one-sided and selfish, without thinking that in some moments they can really go too far.

Tip: never jump to conclusions or make impulsive decisions. Always putting yourself in the girl’s shoes is the surest way to understand her feelings.

By Cindy
July 24, 2020

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