HOW TO TELL A FRIEND THAT HE DATES NOT WITH THAT GIRL: 6 MAIN RULES

Someone might think that you are driven by jealousy or deceit, others will simply consider that you are sticking your nose out of business.

But in life it sometimes happens that if you keep silent, you may miss the chance to help your friend get out of a situation that is unhealthy for him. At the same time, if your friend listens to you, he will have to give up on the person to whom he had the warmest feelings.

It seems that no matter what you do, the consequences will be unpleasant.

However, I have some important tips on how to tell a friend that he is dating the wrong girl. Believe me, they work!

1. Make sure you have enough reason to start a conversation

Remember, if you have no good reason to believe that your friend is dating a girl who is not suitable for him, most likely you should not even start this conversation. The relations of two people are their personal affair, and you can have your own concepts of what a girl should be and an ideal union.

In addition, you hardly know the full picture of their relationship, because in your presence they can behave very differently compared to those moments when they are left alone.

Therefore, if you want to start a conversation that your friend is in “danger”, think carefully about your motives.

It makes no sense to risk friendship in the case when you experience subconscious jealousy because a friend began to spend less time with you. Or when your tastes and preferences in choosing girls do not coincide with him.

However, there are times when you should not be silent.

2. At what points should you start this conversation

There are several situations where you should not be silent, but tell your friend everything directly.

These are the points:

• when your friend’s girlfriend tries to overly control him, manipulates him, insults him, and in some cases hits him (sometimes it happens);
• when a girl treats him with contempt, mocking him and joking in such a way that everything she said seems more offensive than funny;
• when your friend begins to violate all his principles for destructive or harmful reasons;
• when your friend is always depressed, miserable, scared, angry, puzzled or unsure of his relationship.

3. Try to make your friend hear you

If you find the very good reason why you need to sound the alarm, try to choose the right method of communication that will most effectively affect your friend.

For example, if he is used to listening more to specific facts and statistics, you should not come to him on emotions and say: “Look at yourself, you look so depressed, I’m so worried about you!” This approach may not give the desired effect.

Also, try to do it at the right time. That is, if you start this conversation at a time when your friend is fine with his girlfriend, and they have not quarreled for a week, you should postpone your speech until the next conflict. Or until the moment when your friend begins to complain about his relationship.

However, if you think that his health is in danger right now, you can not wait for the right moment. Take action.

4. How to conduct a conversation

So, you are ready to start a serious conversation, the result of which is to save the life of your friend. Here’s how you should behave:

• Indicate the topic of your conversation.
• Use the pronoun “I” more often when transmitting your observations so as not to be responsible for the emotions and experiences of a friend instead of him.
• Share precisely observations, not judgments about your friend’s relationship with his girlfriend.
• Tell us about how you value your friendship.
• Ask him what he thinks about all this.

5. Try to look like you really care about your friend

Despite the fact that words like “you better run away from your girlfriend” contain quite a lot of meaning, even more meanings can convey body language. Approximately 93 percent of human communication consists of non-verbal signals, including posture, eye contact, gestures, microexpressions and so on.

That is why you should remember the language of your body when you start a heated conversation with your friend. Try to avoid belligerent positions, a high head and a confrontational stance face to face during a conversation (as in the UFC).

It is best to bow your head as a sign of involvement in the problem, pat your friend on the shoulder and calmly look into his eyes.

6. Be prepared for a negative reaction

Even if you give your best to your friend one hundred percent, there is a high probability that he will not listen to you and begin to defend a loved one, while blaming you.

Do not put pressure on your friend, convincing him that he needs to part with his girlfriend. This is not a debate.

If the conversation has not led to anything this time, wait and try to resume it next time. The main thing is to try to be with him when possible, support, listen to complaints (if any), and try to give him some practical advice when he comes to them.

After all, if your buddy really has a toxic relationship, he must make his own decision when he is ready. You in this situation should play the role of a mirror through which he can take a clearer look at what is happening.