Each relationship has its own quirks and features, which is completely normal. However, if you feel that you are losing a part of yourself to satisfy the constant needs of someone else, you may be overly controlled.

Before you are the six main symptoms of the fact that you are in an unhealthy relationship when a partner controls you.

  1. Your communication with people important to you is limited (or vice versa)

If at some point you noticed that your meetings with friends and family began to occur much less often than before, it is worth considering. When your girlfriend constantly reacts negatively to your ideas to go hang out, you yourself may begin to feel reluctance to attend certain events because of the threat of an unpleasant situation.

One of the most striking examples of controlling behavior is the constant checking of your personal mail, instant messengers and social networks in order to find out with whom you are communicating.

This kind of social isolation is the first sign that something is wrong with your relationship.

  1. Her jealousy prevents you from doing what you want

If you cannot enjoy the evening in the company of friends without being later accused of flirting with someone, this is a problem.

Despite the fact that it is common for all people to experience jealousy from time to time, it should not become an instrument of control.

In our culture, there is a widespread myth that jealousy is a sign of love, that you need to spend all your time in a love relationship, and that it is romantic to give up everything for the sake of love. All of these ideas are a kind of trap.

  1. Your girlfriend controls your financial expenses

There is nothing wrong with shared budgeting and financial planning. But when one of the partners begins to completely control the monetary operations of the other and allows him to use only a fixed amount for a certain period of time – this is a problem.

  1. Your girlfriend constantly criticizes you and banter

Another sign of controlling behavior is constant criticism of the partner. Objective remarks are good, and constant pressure on the same places is bad.

It’s especially frustrating when your girlfriend tries to humiliate you in front of other people. This is also a sign that she is trying to control you.

  1. You try to do what they want from you, just to maintain a calm environment

If you constantly have to make concessions so as not to provoke the anger of your girlfriend, this is another sign of control. This is also evidenced by inexplicable anxiety, fear and insecurity when you are around.

In addition, if you feel much better when you spend the weekend without your girlfriend, it’s time to think.

  1. Your girlfriend raises a hand at you

This is quite obvious, but we recall once again: if one of you raises your hand, throws things, pushes or does something else that could cause physical harm, this is another attempt at control. (This also includes intentional damage to property).

No one should live in fear, or be intimidated or threatened by a partner.

What to do if your girlfriend controls you

The first step towards liberation from oppressive control is to get rid of social exclusion. Start spending more time with friends, family, and try to enlist their support.

If everything is not started in the relationship, you can try to talk with your partner, saying that you no longer intend to show her your correspondence on social networks, turn away when any female person passes by, and generally endure her attacks.

For many, the right decision in such situations is the termination of the relationship. However, this is not the easiest step, especially if the couple already has children.

What if you control your girlfriend

If in this material you saw yourself from the outside and realized that you yourself are in control of your girlfriend, you need to stop doing this. Read more about abusive relationships, try to understand the reason why you are afraid to give a person freedom, seek psychological help if you can’t do it on your own.

By Cindy
July 8, 2020

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