Because the motivation “it will be cheaper to rent an apartment” is so-so.

The start of living together is undoubtedly one of the main milestones that you face in a long-term relationship. This suggests that you are ready to take on new responsibilities and are even ready to face each other’s potentially annoying quirks every day. If this is not true love, then what?

But, considering all that this may entail, there is no need to rush with this step. There are certain things that you must know exactly about your partner and your relationship, so that the transition to a new stage brings more buzz than disappointment to your life.

So, 5 questions that you have to ask (yourself and each other).

  1. Is it too qiuckly?

It is quite difficult to determine the exact period of time for which the couple must come together. That’s because it depends on many other factors that are more significant than time: for example, did you have frank conversations about your future and your goals, did you solve serious problems together, can you rely on each other.

The important thing is not how much time has passed since you met, but what you learned about yourself, your partner, and your relationships over this period. What about your communication? Depth of understanding? Do your visions of the future coincide? Are you ready to solve and discuss problems, and not avoid them?

  1. Do we have the right motivation?

Why do you want to start living together? More specifically, why now? If your answer is connected with a feeling of pressure or a desire to save on rental housing, then it is better to reconsider your decision. If you are in a hurry and meet for the wrong reasons, there is a high probability that this can seriously affect your relationship.

If you are sincerely happy to take this step because you are sure that you and your girlfriend are super compatible, then this is the right motivation. If you really see the future with her, then these are all good signs and confirmations that you are moving in the right direction.

  1. Are we still able to respect each other’s personal space?

When you live alone, you can invite your friends to watch a movie or football whenever you want. However, as soon as you and your girlfriend become cohabitants, you should consider her opinion in such matters. That is why it is worth figuring out and speaking out each other’s needs for personal time and space before moving in.

Is it normal for both of you to have guests all the time or sometimes? How do you feel about family members who stayed or arrived without warning? And with a warning? Do you both need to be left alone periodically?

  1. Do you have the same attitude to money?

Money is an awkward topic, even if it is. But you know what is even more awkward? When one partner cannot pay his share of the rent, because he spent a whole salary on clothes, shoes or just some nonsense, but you did not expect this. That is why it is necessary to have a clear idea not only about your partner’s income, but also about spending habits.

Rent and utilities are not the only financial obligations that you now, having gathered, share. You will also regularly purchase products, cleaning products, and more.

You need to determine in advance how you will perform all these duties. Do you exclude weekly purchases and do them together once a month? Maybe one of you will be responsible for the purchase of products, while the other will fully pay for the apartment? All this needs to be discussed in advance to avoid problems and conflicts.

  1. Are we compatible in terms of cleanliness and order?

It goes without saying that if one partner is a sloppy goof and the other is a pedantic neat, then when they start living together, there will be a slight tension.

This, of course, does not mean that you cannot cohabit happily – as in everything else in a relationship, everything is decided by communication and compromise. In other words, do not expect your partner to change on his own until you inform him plainly that his habits are bothering you.

Again: you should discuss any issues related to the cleanliness of the house before you begin to live together and peacefully (hopefully) coexist. For example, you can set some basic rules: do not leave dirty dishes, linen, distribute housework.

By Cindy
June 12, 2020

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