In this case, you need to be as delicate as possible.

All relationships are built in different ways. Some couples like to write messages to each other all day long, while others prefer to talk on the phone once a day or even for several days.

Some require a lot of communication, while others can live a week without seeing each other. Unfortunately, people’s preferred styles of relationships often conflict, leading to misunderstandings and resentment.

And the side that “lacks oxygen” can be any of the partners – think for a second, do you give your girlfriend enough freedom or try to control her every move?

And the opposite is what if your girlfriend needs more time together than you are willing to give her? She often writes to you, stays with you every night, and you began to yearn for loneliness?

A conversation on this topic will not be easy, as it can hurt your girlfriend’s feelings. Therefore, I want to give you some tips on how to gently tell a girl that you need more personal space in a relationship.

  1. Clearly decide what is bothering you

First, state what exactly bothers you. This is important to do in order to build a constructive dialogue. Is it too often with you? Does she want you to always reply to a million messages right after you receive them? Does she interfere in all your friendships?

When you find this “stumbling block”, then discuss with her a specific model of behavior, choosing neutral words and trying to be considerate and sympathetic.

Example: “I’m not used to being around all the time. Sometimes I need to be alone. I don’t know if we discussed this before, but I want to be honest with you so that we don’t have any problems. ”

  1. Do not blame her behavior

Never position yourself as a superior partner just because you don’t like some of her habits. You are both different people with different needs, and that’s normal.

However, if these differences begin to cause discomfort, then it is worth discussing this difference, while not laying the blame on either side. This is the best way to ensure the end of such a conversation.

Example: “I feel that we are a little different when it comes to communication style. I don’t like long correspondence – it’s always easier to talk in person. ”

  1. Show her that she is important to you

The fact that you decided to start such a conversation can be interpreted as a cooling of feelings, so she might think that you want to part with her. Be sure to emphasize that this is due to your personality, and not with a lack of romantic interest.

In addition, do not forget to apologize and prepare for various possible reactions on her part. To hear that you want to spend more time without her, few people may be pleased. How would you feel if you were told this? An elegant apology can help smooth out sharp corners.

Example: “I’m sorry, sometimes I want to be alone or meet friends, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like you. I think you are an amazing person, and I want you to be around. And I would like to become like you in a relationship, because then we would not quarrel at all. “

  1. Try to find a compromise

Good relationships require compromises on both sides. You may feel uncomfortable when someone is in your space 24/7, but this does not mean that you either have to endure it silently or end the relationship. It is important to try to find a middle ground that will suit both of you.

Example: “Let’s figure out what we should do. Maybe we’ll meet four times a week, and not every evening? Only I do not want you to think that I am moving away. I will write to you more often and try to make our meetings brighter and more saturated. ”

Do not be afraid to talk about your needs and desires, but do not put them above the desires of your girlfriend, and also carefully prepare for this conversation. If you’re lucky, then this conversation will help your relationship become stronger and more enjoyable for both of you.

By Cindy
June 7, 2020

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