WHAT TO DO IF YOUR EX CONTINUES TO WRITE TO YOU AFTER BREAKING UP
Agree, a difficult situation.
Surely you know that a break in relations is not always accompanied by scandals and the complete cessation of any contacts on the part of both partners. Sometimes the couples part as if in a semi-passive way, when everything seems to be over, but no one is angry at anyone, because everyone understands that “it’s just not the way”.
In such cases, even after parting, one of the partners can take and write another message in the messenger with a simple text “How are you?”, Or a little more complicated “What do you think about the final episode of“ Game of Thrones “?”.
It happens the other way around, when the separation is very painful, so not writing your ex is again quite difficult.
I will tell you what could be the reasons for the messages from the girl with whom you broke up, as well as how to respond to them.
Why does the ex write to you?
I can hardly give a concrete answer to the question “Why did she suddenly write to me?”, However, I have several assumptions, one of which may turn out to be very close to the truth.
First of all, you need to understand how and under what circumstances your relationship ended. This will play a key role in figuring out the reasons for your ex’s activity.
For example, if a girl was the initiator of your break and now writes first, perhaps she is experiencing a breakup and missing you. In most cases, the reason may be just such an unusual yearning for a partner with whom a person used to spend a lot of time.
Sometimes the purpose of her messages may be the desire to remain friends, because this is a completely different format of relations, which provides for other obligations in relation to each other.
If your parting didn’t happen according to the most pleasant scenario, the activity of the ex can signal that she regrets what happened, feels guilty and wants to fix everything.
However, if you have a lot of common friends and acquaintances, most likely she just wants to reduce the degree of your hostility towards each other so that at the next meeting at a general party she does not feel uncomfortable. This, of course, is not accurate, but such an option is also possible.
Another reason for her messages may be a test of your interest in renewing relationships. Regardless of whether she wants to return or not, she may be wondering what you think about this.
If you were the initiator of the break, your ex may want to find out why this happened and what she should do with this information.
Moreover, the reason for her messages to you may be a slight nostalgia and sentimentality caused by old memories, or maybe a few drunk cocktails in a bar with girlfriends.
In any of these cases, if you are curious why she writes, it is always better to ask directly. So you can reduce the time for a long, confusing and stressful analysis of her feelings and find out all at once.
What feelings can you have after receiving messages from your ex?
The reaction to unexpected messages from an ex-girlfriend may be different. If we talk about the physical condition of the body, this is a rapid heartbeat, sweating hands, strange sensations in the abdomen and so on. These are all symptoms of the familiar tide of excitement.
However, it can be caused by different feelings. For example, the joy that your ex still remembers and misses you, even though your relationship has ended. That is, the effect of receiving messages from her is calming.
But sometimes a reminder of herself on her part is not entirely pleasant. For example, in cases where you want to forget everything, and any attention on her part painfully hits your progress in “moving forward”.
If you parted on the most negative note after a toxic relationship, its message can cause you to feel irritated, panic and even fear. After all, all you want after breaking up in this case is to distance yourself.
What to do: respond or ignore?
Let’s make it clear right away: you have every right to ignore your ex’s messages if communicating with her can affect your mental health. This will be a completely normal reaction, which you should not regret.
But what if your relationship was successful and happy? Perhaps you are even thinking about reconnecting with her and recalling your parting as an absurd misunderstanding? In this case, you can safely reply to messages.
However, if you understand that the reason for her message was not the resumption of your romance, do not lean on with proposals to return “everything as it was.”
In this case, another option would be to simply offer her your friendship. History knows many situations when people remained friends after a long and happy relationship.