HOW TO COPE WITH JEALOUSY: 9 STEPS
Jealousy eats you from the inside and prevents you from living? It’s time to get rid of her!
Even the strongest and happiest relationships can be compromised if one of the partners constantly torments the second with suspicions and fear of betrayal. If you know this, then it’s time to think about how to stop being jealous and cheat yourself.
It is important to get rid of this unhealthy and destructive feeling not only in order to maintain your relationship, but first of all for yourself, because it is unlikely to bring you pleasure and helps to feel happy.
- Think about your self-doubt and try to overcome it
Often behind a feeling of jealousy in a relationship lies our own insecurity – and this may be either personal insecurity or the insecurity that you feel when comparing yourself to others.
“Stop indulging your insecurity! If in your life there is a specific person whom you envy, stop following him on Facebook, Instagram, other social networks and compare yourself with him. It can eat you alive, so it’s best to just stop doing it. ”
- Think about where you got confidence issues
Besides the uncertainty that we just discussed, there are other internal problems that turn you into a jealous person.
“Sometimes childhood experiences or past relationships affect us. For example, if you were cheated in a previous relationship, you may begin to think that this will happen again in your current relationship. Awareness of where the problems of trust come from will help you outgrow them. ”
- Do not be afraid to give her more freedom
According to Cavita J. Patel, a romantic relationship coach, the foundation of a strong love affair is to give each other the freedom that you both need and deserve.
Patel wrote an article on this subject, pointing out that having too many restrictions and oppressive controls can ultimately push you apart and only increase your jealousy.
- Use the “band method”
This is a very funny way to pacify jealousy, and, according to relationship experts, it can be very effective. Put an elastic band on your wrist and every time you start to be jealous, click yourself on it. It can help to “break out” of this feeling before it takes over you.
- Be open and honest with your girlfriend and share your feelings with her
If recently you have been overwhelmed with a feeling of jealousy, this may be an occasion to start an open and honest conversation with a girl on this topic. Specialists from the National Health Service of Great Britain are sure that it is worth expressing your feelings without laying the blame on your partner and specifically indicating what makes you jealous.
They also recommend that you stay calm throughout the conversation and try not to turn it into a quarrel or argument. Such frankness will help the girl learn about your experiences and, most likely, she will convince you that there is nothing to worry about.
- Think about how jealousy affects you
Jealousy makes you become a really unpleasant person? She blinds you, and you catch yourself thinking that you do not trust all the women around you? Do you always feel discomfort?
It is worth considering how jealousy negatively affects you as a person. Realizing how jealousy changes you / makes you behave and feel, you can even more want to get rid of it, and it will be easier for you to do it.
- Write about your feelings
Another good way to help yourself overcome the jealousy you feel is to start keeping a diary. Throwing negative thoughts onto paper is the most peaceful way to get rid of the jealousy of anger that has gripped you.
And the opportunity, having calmed down, to re-read what has been written will help you analyze your feelings, realize their destructiveness and think about how important it is not to be jealous.
- Focus on the good
Clinical psychologist Kim Kronister believes that the key to defeating jealousy will be switching from negative emotions to positive ones: “The best thing to do in this situation is to stop worrying about what goes wrong and focus on what’s going on how to”.
Remember what you like about your girlfriend and for which you are grateful to her, and also daily remind yourself that she and you are well — otherwise you would not be together. Is it logical?
- Just stop being jealous
If you’re not sure if your girlfriend is cheating on you, just try to let go of the jealousy that bothers you. Stop for a moment and tell yourself that jealousy is not the feeling you need in life, and that you are ready to say goodbye to it.
Clinical psychologist, Dr. Christina Hibbert suggests trying to visualize jealousy: “… breathe deeper and imagine that it flies through you like the wind. Repeat this as many times as you need to truly let go of that feeling. ”
If you have problems with imagination, then you can try to get rid of jealousy by taking your free time to do things that will increase your self-esteem and bring positive emotions – take professional courses, go in for sports or find a new cool hobby.
The next time you feel that jealousy is creeping up on you, try to use some of these tactics and you will probably find that managing feelings will become much easier.