Believe me, this is not a hopeless situation.

Sometimes it happens that your parents do not support you in choosing a life partner. They may refer to cultural differences, career ambitions, background, education, appearance, and many other factors that they believe are hindering your union.

Some guys in this case simply do not listen to their ancestors, boldly declaring that they are free to meet with anyone, anytime. Others do not want to disappoint their parents and try to convince them that this girl is the same. It is at this stage that the problems begin.

The fact is that such a situation not only leads to confrontation with parents and endless discussions, but also to the emergence of self-doubt about the correctness of one’s choice.

However, all this can be dealt with, and now we will tell you exactly how. But first, we’ll analyze the motivation of parents who do not want their son to date a particular girl.

Sometimes parents worry for good reason

It is worth recognizing that in some cases, parents still have reasons to be distrustful of their son’s partner. For example, when his condition changes for the worse, there are signs of persistent depression, apathy, and often nervous breakdowns or panic attacks occur. All this can be a sign of psychological (or emotional) violence.

If friends also agree with your parents on this issue, it is worth considering and trying to adequately assess what is happening.

However, remember that the history of your previous relationship will necessarily affect how wary your parents will be towards your future girls. If most of your past relationships were toxic, then your ancestors would not expect anything good from your current ones.

Sometimes the reasons for their disapproval are less justified.

There are frequent cases when the parents are biased towards your girlfriend simply because her image does not correspond to their ideas about the “ideal wife”. Perhaps they want you to marry a blonde and blue-eyed model who graduated from Harvard University and prepares at the level of a top chef. However, you chose a brunette who will graduate from RUDN University only next year and generally does not like to mess in the kitchen. Parents can be so attached to their own imaginary ideal that no real girls will just have a chance to please them.

In addition, often parents can even be jealous of you to a girl. Somewhere on a subconscious level, it may seem to them that she is going to “steal” you from them, so that, for example, you will never come to visit them again.

What to do to cope with the disapproval of parents?

So, it’s time to move on to practical tips that will help you deal with the disapproval of your parents and convince them that your girlfriend is no worse than all their Harvard models.

  1. Schedule a few meetings where parents can chat with your girlfriend

First, never complain about your girlfriend to your ancestors if you want them to like her.

Secondly, so that your parents have a chance to get to know your companion better, plan a classic family dinner. To do this, talk to your girlfriend in advance about what your mom and dad are interested in, what topics it is better not to talk about with them, and generally describe them to her so that she can understand who she will have to deal with.

In addition, we advise you not to wait for your girlfriend to get along with her parents right away, and they are with her. Give them time.

  1. Try to understand your parents

Instead of defending yourself and your love from ancestral attacks, try to take their point of view at least for a while.

Then think with your girlfriend what you could do to somehow incline them to your side.

  1. But actually, in principle, you don’t need to know what your ancestors think about it

You are already an adult, so you do not have to know the opinion of mom and dad about your girlfriend.

Remember, at one time they probably said phrases to you, like “it’s none of your business” when you tried to ask them something about their personal life. So now, even if they did not have a very positive impression of your girlfriend, we hope that they have enough tact to keep silent and not say it out loud.

However, if you value their opinion and certainly want to know it, be prepared for the fact that the answers you receive may not completely satisfy you.

  1. If your parents continue to criticize your girlfriend, it’s worth setting the limits.

Tell your parents that their constant criticism of your girlfriend prevents you from living normally. Therefore, from now on, depending on the degree of their hostility, you will stop doing certain things.

For example, talk about the details of your personal life or organize family dinners, at which your ancestors can afford to criticize her.

  1. Talk about your problem with a friend.

Very often to cope with a situation when the parents are opposed to your girlfriend, a confidential conversation with a friend helps. During it, a clearer realization may come to you that you cannot control the thoughts and feelings of other people. In addition, the struggle itself for the approval of the girl by the parents can not always give positive results.

So, if your ancestors insist on their own, try to explain to them that it is your choice, not theirs. At the same time, from time to time feed them with stories about how well you are doing in your personal life. Perhaps in the long run this will lead to the fact that they will accept your choice.

By Cindy
May 22, 2020

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