The legendary show not only entertained, but also gave useful tips.

From the endless argument of Ross and Rachel that “they had a break”, to the journey of Chandler and Monica from friendship to marriage, the cult series of the 90s showed us different types of relationships and problems that are faced not only by screen, but also by real couples .

Here are some helpful relationship tips worth saying thank you to Friends.

  1. Winning a dispute should not be more important than the health of your relationship

One of the main lines of the Friends is the relationship between Ross and Rachel, and, starting from the third season, the main stumbling block for this couple was the dilemma: can you sleep with someone else while you decide to take a break in your relationship with your half.

Like the couple on the screen, Friends fans often disagree on what it means to “take a break” and whether it was normal for Ross to sleep with someone else during that “break”. But it really doesn’t matter what the term means, or who was “right.”

In a situation of this notorious dispute, Rachel was dealing with the pain of cheating on her lover, and Ross was embarrassed to hurt the woman he loved. If they focused on their feelings and feelings, rather than on the superficial details of their struggle, they might be able to maintain their relationship and avoid a break.

In addition to being prepared to discuss their feelings and stop focusing on being right, Ross and Rachel might have avoided the pain associated with this “break” if they had discussed their expectations about loyalty in advance.

It is imperative that partners constantly talk about their desires, beliefs and values ​​around monogamy, the interpretation of fidelity and what constitutes betrayal. In addition to setting out the expectations of each partner regarding fidelity, it is also important to decide in advance what each person should do if he (or she) begins to treat the agreement differently or if he has violated it.

Although these conversations can be difficult, it’s important for a couple to talk about these topics, because avoiding unpleasant conversations, as the series showed us, can lead to painful consequences.

  1. Before starting a relationship with someone much older or younger than you, assess whether you are ready to deal with problems that can cause a big age difference

When Monica began dating Richard, a man 21 years older than her, she faced many problems and complications related to the age gap of the couple. But this could have been avoided if at the very beginning they had discussed their expectations from the relationship and honestly talked about possible problems.

For example, it’s worth talking about how the age difference will affect the dynamics of the strength of relationships, some people in your life, and how you see your future together (and whether you see it at all).

In the case of Monica and Richard, they did not discuss important topics, including whether they would consider having children. Spoiler: this ultimately led to the breakdown of their relationship, as Monica wanted to be a mother, and Richard felt that he had already finished this chapter of his life.

  1. Relations with someone you were friends with is not a bad idea.

Perhaps the series’s most successful couple are Chandler and Monica, who were originally friends. Then they had a romantic attraction to each other, and ultimately this led to a strong and happy marriage.

Strong friendships help partners to better know and understand each other, and therefore making friends with someone before entering into a romantic relationship with her can certainly be a guarantee of a healthy and cool relationship.

  1. When solving problems with relatives who do not accept your girlfriend, it is important to engage in open communication with your soulmate
    (And do your best to protect your relationship).

In the “Friends” more than once depicted various cases in which relatives or other family members interfered with the progress of relations. Monica’s parents do not like Chandler, father Rachel and Ross do not like each other for most of the series, and Mike’s parents are shocked by the directness of Phoebe.

But when it comes to resolving such “family” issues, it is best to have open, honest communication with both the girl and the people closest to you. The approval of a romantic relationship with the family is often an important factor in our relationship, even if we do not want to admit it to ourselves. And if relatives are unhappy with your choice, the couple should unite and defend their relationship.

  1. Ultimatums do not help in relationships – it’s healthier to discuss boundaries

An example of a pair of Friends who could not compromise are Ross and Emily. After pronouncing the name Rachel instead of Emily at their wedding, Emily puts an ultimatum to Ross: she says that she will come to America and give their marriage a chance only if he agrees to never see Rachel again.

Essentially, from that moment on, their relationship was doomed, because this demand threatened, ultimately, another person’s autonomy. As soon as ultimatums are used, people usually have a defensive reaction, and they react negatively to them. The best way to deal with the situation is for partners to know each other’s boundaries without threatening or challenging the freedom of their own half.

By Cindy
May 17, 2020

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