It always seems to you that they are connected by something more than just friendship.

You have been dating a girl for some time, everything is going well with you, and at some point she says: “I want to introduce you to my best friend. I’m sure you’ll get along! ”

It turns out she has a best friend. He is a straight guy, and they have been friends for quite some time. Even if he is not in love with her, he still knows more about her than you, it alarms you, and you start to dance along with your imagination and jealousy. Everything would be fine, but it starts to ruin you, her and your relationship.

Therefore, such feelings can and should be fought, and now I will tell you how.

  1. First, relax

Yes, we all saw these films, where some nerd was secretly in love with one girl from school, was friends with her for a long time, and then suddenly tore off her wedding, admitting his feelings. Naturally, she appreciated this gesture, threw her husband without five minutes and threw herself into the arms of an old friend.

Despite the popularity of such a classic plot, we want to say right away that this story was invented by bored screenwriters of Hollywood films who wanted to keep the viewer in front of the screen.

Remember that her boyfriend is you, not he. Therefore, even if it looks like a pirated copy of Chris Hemsworth, she will still identify him in the category of “Best Friend” or “Brother”.

You must understand that in this category there is no place for anything more, because if they wanted to meet each other, they would have already done it a long time ago.

  1. Look confident

Believe me, it’s completely normal to ask your girlfriend questions about her friendship. Here is an example of a neutral question:

“Oh, you have a best friend! That’s cool. How long have you known each other? ”

Here is an example of an unsuccessful reaction to the news about her friend:

“Oh, you have a best friend! Don’t you think this is a little strange? Have you ever met him? Never? Didn’t you even try to sleep on some student party? Well, and what does he look like? Do you think he is handsome? ”

If you ask her such questions, it will bare as much as possible your insecurity in your relationship. In addition, it will look as if you are not ready to accept the fact that she can communicate with some other man except you.

I understand that you want to know everything about their friendship. But do not overwhelm her with uncomfortable questions about this. You will still have a lot of time to learn their story. Perhaps she herself will tell you everything.

  1. Meet him as soon as possible and be friendly

The sooner you meet, the better. The real version of her best friend is probably not as frightening as the version you built in your head (the dude who quotes Jack London looks like James Franco and has a press like Jesus).

You just need to hang out together, and you will notice that he has a (possibly) habit of picking his nose or wearing socks with sandals. So you will understand that he is far from the god of sex, whose life purpose is to steal your girlfriend.

Just do not call him to a place where both of you can compete with each other. That is, you should not go to any bowling alleys, billiards and so on. It’s best to come to some nice bar where you can calmly sit down and have a casual conversation.

  1. If something bothers you, do not hide it

Let’s say she has a long tradition of spending the night with her best friend, where they get drunk and watch movies all night. The fact that this will bother you is quite natural. Therefore, there are two ways to deal with your anxiety (good and bad).

Here is a bad way:

“Are you going to your friend again?” Why do you hang out together so often? Is there really nothing else for him to do? I thought we could go with you to that new bar tonight. As soon as I want to do something good, you immediately have plans. ”

If you forbid your girlfriend to communicate with her best friend, in the end, you will be the only reason for your broken relationship. Imagine how you would feel if she presented you with an ultimatum about one of your friends? Don’t let your insecurity make you a jerk — it won’t solve anything.

Instead, use a good way to solve the problem:

“I know that you are close to him, and it is very cool that you feel comfortable with each other. But I don’t know how far you can go, which makes me worry. Can we talk about this with you? ”

As soon as you have this honest and sensitive dialogue about your fears of fears, you will immediately feel much better. The good news is that this is an isolated conversation that doesn’t tend to be repeated every time she wants to meet with him. At some point, you will get used to her friend and perhaps make friends with him yourself.

By Cindy
May 13, 2020

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