Some of the “good advice” is actually more accurately called “harmful.”

Relations can be difficult, and when we find ourselves in conflict with each other, we often seek the advice of friends, family and psychologists.

But not all of their warnings and the so-called “wise words” are worth listening to. Even some of the most frequently cited recommendations can potentially ruin everything rather than help.

Here are a few examples of “classic” statements about love that you should have forgotten about.

  1. “Your half is somewhere out there, and soon you will meet her”

I venture to incur the wrath of all the romantics, but still I will say this – there are no “halves”, we are all solid individuals. And yet there are no ideal partners, and indeed ideal people in general. Every person you meet will have flaws. And if you accept this fact, you will be able to find that one of those whom you considered “not quite perfect” may actually suit you perfectly.

Well, and finally: your next relationship will not necessarily happen “soon”, but maybe it won’t happen at all (and this is also normal). You should not program a person for a specific scenario, the main thing is to make him comfortable.

  1. “Look for one that will share all your hobbies”

Having a girl who loves everything you love may seem like a great prospect, but such a relationship often hides one very unpleasant nuance. If you suddenly find a girl who also loves horses, she’s a fan of your favorite sports team and
watching the same films, this can be not only a happy coincidence, but also a sign of co-dependence.

Take a closer look – is there really a person with similar interests in front of you, or are you trying to copy your hobbies in order to seem more suitable and attractive? Remember that different tastes and interests are normal in pairs. Do not fan out any of your differences conflict.

  1. “Never go to bed angry”

The Classic Council recommends that you try to resolve all conflicts here and now, but it’s actually better to take a short break before discussing something that causes controversy.

When the atmosphere is heating up, we often say not what we mean. Sleep can give the necessary time to cool down, and in most cases in the morning almost any problem will not seem as fatal as in the evening.

  1. “He / she can change!”

Of course, it is true that people change over time – but only if they themselves are interested in this. Never enter into a long-term relationship, especially marriage, thinking that you can change a person for the better.

While relations grow and develop over time, there are some personality traits and habits that will never change – so you should seriously think about whether you are ready to put up with this.

  1. “Time heals any wounds”

It really takes time to recover from the pain. But even months and years do not guarantee that you will completely bounce back. Heals people to make healthy decisions, not the statute of limitations from psychological trauma.

  1. “Children will save your relationship”

If your relationship is already bursting at the seams, having a child will not make all disagreements suddenly disappear as if by magic. While some problems in relationships can really recede into the background while the child is waiting and immediately after his appearance, then they will reappear – and when they do, they can become even stronger.

  1. “The secret to a happy marriage is a compromise.”

Concessions work well in politics, but not in relationships. To advertise constant compromises is like saying: “I am ready to accept some disappointment and pain, but on the condition that the one I love most in this world will suffer too.” It’s ridiculous, right?

Instead, you should find together a “third alternative” that will make you both happy. Yes, the search for this option will take some time, but in the process of setting out the requirements for your third alternative, you will learn a lot about each other.

  1. “A woman who earns more can threaten a male partner”

Despite the year 2019 and the 21st century on the calendar, women are still often advised to keep their success secret when meeting a man, and men, in turn, are still “not allowed” to admit if they want to focus not on a career, but on housekeeping.

The girl who earns more does not humiliate you in any way. This is an occasion for pride and joy, and not the other way around. Living not according to stereotypical rules, but according to those that suit both of you is beneficial for everyone. Learn flexibility in gender roles, work in a team, and share your household responsibilities in half.

  1. “If you do not argue, this is a good sign.”

You may think that the lack of disagreement means that everything is fine, but in fact it may not be at all. The truth is, if a couple has no disagreement, they probably don’t voice important ideas or needs out loud.

Talking about your needs and problems in relationships and sometimes having different points of view is great. There are no two people with the same needs and goals, so this is normal when disagreements arise. But when couples are silent about the problems that have arisen, or one of the partners always and completely agrees with the other, over time this can lead to a “boiling point”, followed by a break.

By Cindy
May 8, 2020

Get Instant Hints