Boredom can be almost as dangerous to marriage as betrayal.

Immediately after the wedding, everything seems new and exciting. You and your wife still have romantic dates, and what could become future troubles is just cute little quirks that make you love your beloved even more.

But, unfortunately, this “honeymoon” will not last forever. In the end, everything will calm down, and you can even feel … boredom. Fortunately, this feeling does not mean that your marriage is doomed. It’s just that you may have to devote a little more time and energy to shake up your relationship and make it glow with renewed vigor.

Below are a few basic reasons why romantic feelings fade away after a while, and tips on how to fix it.

  1. You stopped asking questions to your wife

Over time, one of you may feel that you already know everything you need to know about the other. But you can still surprise many others – take my word for it!

Each of the people has thousands of stories, habits, not to mention the million thoughts that flash in our heads. And most importantly, we all change over time. Therefore, you should never stop asking questions to your girlfriend and stop getting to know her.

  1. You equate romance with spontaneity

Of course, everyone loves to be swept away with sudden romantic manifestations and gestures. But do not think that your relationship with your wife will be exciting only if you act impromptu, like couples in your favorite romantic comedy. It is simply unrealistic to do all the time. Plan a romantic trip, and already there try something completely spontaneous and unusual.

  1. You no longer surprise each other

This does not have to be something extravagant, but finding ways to surprise your beloved, whether it be a gift or some kind of pleasant act, can keep your marriage fresh by driving boredom away.

  1. Routine sucked you and your wife

Life can make any relationship fade over time – so Romeo and Juliet are perhaps, in a sense, lucky that they did not encounter this. However, we, of course, do not advise you and your wife to commit collective suicide!

In addition to the fact that it’s time for you to cut all your household duties in half in order to make it easier (we hope you have already done this for a long time), we also recommend that you regularly leave your comfort zone. Visit new restaurants every time, try strange hobbies and choose unfamiliar places for walking.

If you like it, great! If not, laugh at the bad experience and swear never to do it again (but be sure to try something else). To repeat: leaving the comfort zone ensures that you will not be bored.

  1. Do you underestimate the role of food

Food is one of the simplest and most obvious ways to get close to your spouse. Regardless of whether you cook a new YouTube recipe together, cook for each other as a surprise, bring food to bed, or plan to visit new restaurants together, food can be another great way to experience and express love.

  1. You do not set goals for your relationship

When people enter a relationship, most couples set goals together. But over time, when you achieve these goals, it is very important to create new ones that you need to strive for. If not, you will feel indifferent to a shared future.

By continuing to encourage and support each other in achieving your goals, whether personal or shared, you will ultimately strengthen your love and marriage.

  1. You spend too much time together

Yes, you are spouses, but do not be afraid to be yourself and have different interests. Couples who spend too much time together can easily start to feel bored or, worse, frustrated.

Try to find new, separate hobbies for yourself and sometimes do things alone. This will not only give more emotions to share with each other, but also help you get a little bored.

  1. Your brain craves novelty

Accepting the fact that sometimes marriage will seem boring is an important step in solving the problem. In the end, as Stanford University neuroscientist Russell Poldrak noted in his article, “novelty activates a number of brain systems and, above all, the dopamine system.” And, as you remember, dopamine is the very hormone of well-being that we all hunt for.

But the ability to recognize your biological need for novelty and react appropriately ensures that you and your wife do not suffer – if you feel bored, find together a way to satisfy this “dopamine hunger”.

  1. You and your wife take each other for granted

As soon as you begin to feel safe in a relationship, you become lazy, smug and yes, boring. And this is not only with you – everyone has it. Therefore, stop thinking that work on relationships ends with marriage — to live “happily ever after,” you must always invest in relationships.

After several years of relationships, it’s easy to start taking everything that your wife does for you and your family for granted. But this is not so, and it is important to remember this. And also constantly express gratitude to my beloved for who she is and what influence she has on your life and happiness. You will be surprised how much this can refresh your marriage.

  1. Your sex life is unsatisfactory or completely stopped

Boredom in bed is a real plague for a long-term relationship. Even the keenest sex becomes fresher over time, and lovemaking can easily and imperceptibly turn into part of the usual routine, always taking place in the same scenario.

The good news: “knocking dust” out of bed is not so difficult.

  1. You and your wife are absorbed by technology

Social networks, games, new TV shows – all this, of course, is very cool and without it, you can’t go anywhere, but if you spend most of your time with your wife staring at each screen, don’t be surprised that the marriage has become boring and uninteresting.

When you are at home together, try turning off your phones and putting them away for a while. Share your news, do something together or play a new game in bed – anything without the participation of a “black mirror” can add variety to your relationship if you have recently started to live more virtual lives than real ones.

By Cindy
April 26, 2020

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