All couples are different, but their problems are often similar.

When you start dating someone new, the last thing you want to think about is breaking up. And although in the first months of falling in love, the brain works a little differently, and you are absolutely happy, you can already notice the “disturbing bells” that indicate that your relationship with a girl may end in failure.

We are not going to “croak”, we just introduce you to the list of the most common reasons for couples to make sure that you and your girlfriend are doing well, or pay attention to what you should work on.

  1. You avoid conflicts

In his 2015 study, published in the journal Psychological Assessment, Keith Sanford, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Baylor University, found that partners who admitted that they did not argue reported that they were unhappy in the relationship and related to them quite apathetic.

  1. You have different goals

Virgil once wrote that “love conquers everything”, and it seems that he was never in a serious relationship. Yes, love can overcome a lot, but if there is one thing that it cannot overcome, then these are different goals of the partners.

In the end, despite the difference in characters and preferences, you and your girlfriend should agree on such things as: where to live, when to have children and whether to do it at all, and also how to save and spend money – otherwise the relationship fall apart.

  1. You have high expectations from each other

Your friend, most likely, does everything possible so that everything is super, but like any person, including you, she sometimes makes mistakes. And while in a healthy relationship one is ready to accept and forgive the mistakes of his partner, a couple in which one or both expects the other that he or she will be ideal, then in 100% of cases this will lead to disappointment on both sides.

  1. One of you is afraid to be alone

Many people avoid conflicts and pretend that problems in their relationship do not exist simply because they live in fear of being alone. However, this strategy leads to the opposite result, since all conflicts will ultimately raise their ugly heads – and by the time this happens, it is usually too late to resolve them.

  1. One of you underestimates your partner

Contempt for your partner is one of the behaviors that are an alarming sign of an impending break. Contempt and criticism of one of the parties forces the second to take a defensive position and move away, and in some cases, and seek a new partner.

  1. You compare your relationships with other people’s

There is such a good expression: “Comparison is a thief of joy.” The worse things are in your own relationships, the better the relationships of everyone else will look. But comparing yourself to others, you will only feel worse. So you, in the end, sabotage all the valuable that remains of your relationship.

  1. You vent your anger on each other

In a 2014 study, it was determined that the people we love the most are also the ones we are most likely to get mad at, because we interact with them more than anyone else. But, unfortunately, they also found that “aggression is harmful to people and relationships,” which means: the more you hurt the people you love, the more you risk pushing them away.

  1. You refuse to compromise

The compromise is not only about letting your girlfriend choose which cafe or movie session you go to. In a healthy relationship, compromising means accepting each other for who you are and being able to give up your need to always be right and control everything.

  1. You have confidence issues

To start trusting someone is not easy, especially if you have been betrayed in the past, but you must believe the person with whom you have a long-term relationship. If you build your partnership on the basis of mistrust, then you risk losing both physical and emotional intimacy. In addition, if one of the couple constantly arranges jealousy scenes for the other, then it can be practically guaranteed that at some point the second partner will get tired and leave.

  1. One of you holds on to the past

It’s hard to focus on the present when you are busy with the past. And this is especially true in romantic relationships, since in order for everything to be good, a complete and undivided emotional and physical presence of both partners is necessary. If you want your current relationship to continue, leave the past in the past and let go of what holds you in it.

By Cindy
April 20, 2020

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