The first months of relationships are often called the “candy-bouquet period” and for good reason: lovers are maximally absorbed in each other and enjoy every moment spent together.

However, this “endorphin explosion” cannot last forever, and soon the passions fade into the background, and often after the first three months the partners decide whether to switch to an exclusive relationship (the traditional monogamous option), to remain in an inclusive relationship (suggesting other romantic connection) or better to completely break up.

As will be the case in your case with the girl, I, of course, am unable to predict, but there are a number of alarming signs that indicate that with a high degree of probability your roads will diverge, and soon enough.

  1. Your communication is unstable

Yesterday you chatted with the girl all night, and today she ignores your messages, and it is not yet clear whether you will see tomorrow or not. It may also be on your part: you simply do not feel the desire and need to find out how your girlfriend is doing, and you rarely remember her.

Although we all need “personal space” and time alone, but inconsistency is the first step to ensure that, instead of building a strong connection, your relationship gradually fades away.

  1. You cannot “open” to each other

From time to time, we wear masks in the company of friends, at work or at a family dinner. But if you plan to build a serious relationship, it is important not to be afraid to show each other your “true face” and feel comfortable enough in the company of your partner to relax and be yourself.

If after a few meetings this does not happen, and you continue to play some roles in front of each other, then perhaps the special connection that is inherent in long-term relationships will not appear between you.

  1. She doesn’t invite you to hang out with her friends (or are you doing this?)

It is possible that the circles of your communication are as diverse as possible, and you are not interested in her friends as much as she does with yours, and this is normal. It is abnormal if one of the partners tries to make the other a full-fledged part of his life, while the other kind of “hides” him from acquaintances and is in no hurry to acquaint with anyone, although this is very important for the second side. Very often, this suggests that the relationship may soon expire.

  1. One of you does not give emotional support to the other

You have fun together and it is possible that you have cool sex, but is it important for you what excites and worries your girlfriend? And for her? One of the characteristics of couples in a long-term relationship is to give emotional support to their partner when they need it.

If you don’t feel that she is “that shoulder that you can lean on,” or don’t feel the desire to support her yourself, then you probably do not fit together.

  1. Your relationship is not a priority

Relationships require “investment” in the form of time, effort, attention and support, and if one of you does not want to “invest” in this way, then you may have different needs and visions of the relationship. If you are constantly inaccessible to your girlfriend or she is always busy for you, your relationship will not last long. In addition, you cannot support someone’s interest in yourself if he suddenly disappeared.

The first three months is a kind of “test period”, when you both look closely at each other, get to know each other closer and try to understand how good you are together and whether you want to continue this communication.

And if it suddenly turns out that no, it’s important to honestly admit it and have the courage to end a relationship that does not bring pleasure to both parties.

By Cindy
April 16, 2020

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