Feigning March 8

Several ways to create a woman’s feeling that you had prepared in advance for a long time and with love for March 8th. (In fact, you can play Angry Birds Star Wars right up to tomorrow night – anyway, there will be time to arrange everything with style!)
All women are madly in love with romance. The key word is crazy. And they call romance everything that’s not like people’s. Especially sudden and unmotivated manifestations of affection. Passionate kisses that turn into sex in the kitchen sink by candlelight with music or an advertisement for dandruff shampoo. Not so hard to arrange, right? More women love surprises. Almost the same as romance, but even more unexpected and absurd. And, of course, attention to her. When, after March 8, they begin to call up and tell who gave something to someone, the enthusiastic words about the unforgettable evening that you gave her may well overshadow the girlfriend’s story about the mink coat, making her turn green with envy and feel like a bored doll in the hands of a rich tyrant .

Total: maximum attention, minimum gifts, plus romance and surprises within reasonable limits. And now – three effective scenarios that will help you make March 8 an unforgettable holiday for her with a minimum of effort.

  • “Dinner at home by candlelight”

No one knows why women are so fond of dining by candlelight. After all, wielding a knife and a fork in the twilight is uncomfortable and traumatic, and it is generally not visible what you actually eat and drink. But since they love it, why not have a holiday? Confess to her that you dreamed all year to have dinner … No, not even that: you have always dreamed of meeting her and having dinner by candlelight! And today I decided to make this gift. You will need candles, some food, and romantic music. At the end of the dinner, turn up the music and invite her to the dance with gestures. The ability to dance is not required here – just hold her by the waist, trample on the spot to the nearest chorus, then kiss languidly, carefully lift her up in your arms (women adore it!) And bring her to bed. Try to keep her legs and head off as little furniture and door frames as possible.

You will need:
Perfumed household candles – 2 pcs. (or one large, or many small)
Pink disposable tablecloth – 1 pc.
Ready pizza, preheated in the microwave – 2 pcs.
A bottle of good wine – 1 pc. minimum
The album “Romantic Collection”, downloaded from the Internet at work – 1 pc.

  • “Day of surprises”

The first surprise should not shine with originality: coffee in bed. You set an alarm on the eve, get up first, slap in the kitchen, cheerfully dilute a bag of instant coffee with boiling water and return back with a saucer and the words: “Happy 8th of March, my sun!” After which you declare that today you take care of all yourselves – rest, dear, and I will go … for groceries!

You will need:
Postcards – from 20 pcs.
Red felt-tip pen for inscriptions – 1 pc.
Instant coffee – 1 sachet
Mimosa – 1 bunch
Soft bunnies, hippos, elephants – from 3 to 19 pcs.

And you go away all day on your business, sending every 2 hours touching congratulatory SMS to her phone. And while she is dealing with your surprises. To make surprises, buy three dozen colorful cards and write a variety of congratulations. For example: “I love you!”, “I love you!”, “I love you!” and, of course, “Happy March 8, my sun!” – Do not disappear the same morning slogan? Shove them in the most unexpected places – in the pocket of her coat, in the makeup bag, under the pillow, stick to the mirror. Stick it on her toothbrush. Stick up a rearview mirror in her car. It would be nice to buy a bouquet of mimosa, disassemble it into small twigs and scatter it along with postcards. If you can get a few small soft toys – use them. In the morning she will stumble upon your surprises, her happiness and surprise will have no limit. It will end in that she will begin to specifically search for them, sort out things, move furniture away, see dust there, and, possibly, at the same time she will clean the apartment for your return. Try to come back with groceries.

  • “You as a gift”

You will need:
Boots from Versace – 2 pcs.
Schwarzenegger’s courageous posture – 1 pc.
DiCaprio’s languid look – 2 in 1
Front dress coat with bow tie from the first marriage – 3 pcs.
Attentiveness from Sherlock Holmes – 1 pcs.
Gallantry from Dale Carnegie – 1 pcs.
Hairstyle from Mel Gibson from Braveheart – 1 pc.
Smile from McDonald’s – 15 pcs.
Endless compliments – unlimited

The best gift is yourself. It remains only to gently hint her about it. To do this, carefully shave in the morning and dress in the most solemn costume (they will not force you to wash the dishes in it). Further – according to the circumstances. Go about your usual business, but show maximum attention. Whether you are sitting at a computer, watching football while sipping a beer, turn around regularly to congratulate her again or to compliment her. Take care: Could you bring me a glass of water? Isn’t it chilly to cover you with a blanket? Come and touchingly take your hand, gently look into your eyes, romantically breathe in your ear, ask about the innermost. My bunny, what are you thinking now? What is your biggest dream? Why didn’t you really tell me about your school friends and parents? And the next two hours, while the story sounds, go about your business. Then repeat.

Gifts? Say: “Honey, you are the meaning of my whole life! I’m ready for everything for you! Do you want to jump from the tower? Will I get Ursa Major from heaven for you? Do not? Why? Then I ask you, say: what would such a treasured, beautiful and festive day I could do for you today? ” She will not be ready for such a statement of the question, her fantasy will be paralyzed, and the result of her thoughts will most likely turn out to be a romantic trifle. Do not be afraid – the repair of the loggia, the washing of dishes and the removal of the bin can be called cherished and festive; her tongue will not turn.

But if she suddenly wants something global and mundane (a fur coat from an ermine, to get married, to settle her mother in the living room) – promise with all responsibility: “Tomorrow morning I will deal with this issue closely!” She will willingly believe: a woman offering this is extremely naive. Do not confuse, promise to tackle the issue, not the deed. And the next morning, take up the question: think it over and reject it indignantly.

By Cindy
February 23, 2020

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