7 phrases you must forget if she is angry

Recently, I came across a pretty study by psychologists from Ohio State University who came up with an algorithm for apologizing to be truly forgiven.

It was something like this. Volunteers (they recruited about 700 people) were divided into two groups. Some – in different ways asked for forgiveness, and the second, respectively, listened to them, listened to their own feelings and issued a verdict. Psychologists carefully recorded everything, long and thoughtfully analyzed, and eventually came to the conclusion that the universal scheme consists of six mandatory components:

expression of regret;
explanation of what happened;
recognition of responsibility;
proposal to rectify the situation;
and, in fact, “I’m sorry.”
At the same time, one of the authors of the study notes that the most important are points No. 3 and No. 5. That is, the recognition of responsibility and a demonstration of readiness to rectify the situation.

It is clear that the situations and the elements of crime are different. But I honestly remembered and right on the shelves laid out the experience of the most bloody conflicts and came to the conclusion: if a person apologized this way (or at least something like that, with emphasis on points 3 and 5), the truce came much faster. And this unpleasant lead cold did not remain in the heart. In short, a good algorithm. Working. Keep in mind guys (and not just guys) in mind.

Another thing is that any perfect scheme can be ruined. And there is a list of phrases that are suspiciously often pronounced by men in the process of clarifying relationships, and which invariably, guaranteed, bring women to a white heat. No matter how peaceful the tone they were said.

So, if you, my dear friend, have messed up and seriously expect to forgive the girl, it would be better for you to keep the following remarks with you:

  • “Not the best time you have chosen ..”

Does the meteorite agree on its arrival time in advance? Ball lightning clarifies whether it would be convenient for it to shy now, or better five hours later? Does a heart attack indicate that he wants to welcome you today? I think you understand what I’m getting at.

  • “Actually, you yourself are good …”

I don’t know, perhaps the whole point is that men have some special structure of the larynx. But, as a rule, you guys are not physically able to just say: “to blame.” Be sure to blurt out something else. Specifically, this “something else” completely neutralizes the fact of guilty plea. And this, I recall, is the most important element!

  • “Do you have PMS or something?”

It is not clear what the clarifier is counting on. That the girl will look at “her calendar”, will understand that yes, he is, and at the peak of it – and immediately shut up ashamed? In general, to use a feature of the human reproductive system as an argument in a dispute is not cool and smacks of gender chauvinism.

  • “Calm down – then we’ll talk”

Firstly, you are not in the position to pose ultimatums. And secondly, you are deeply mistaken if you think that this phrase affects girls like an injection of a sedative. The effect will be exactly the opposite. You just had an angry girl – and now a fire-breathing dragon, shooting from the eyes with a laser.

  • “What should I do to make you forgive me?”

Well, here we are. Who screwed up – he invents options for atonement. Or do you really think that any self-respecting girl has a secret list: “What to demand, when he is to be offended”?

  • “How many more times do I need to apologize?”

Just as much as she needs to forgive you. And not a single “sorry” less.

  • “Well, ok, sorry”

No, this is not the same as “I’m sorry.” It sounds like it, but not it. Absolutely, categorically, absolutely not it.

By Cindy
February 15, 2020

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