How to meet a girl in a nightclub and not screw up

There is an opinion that a nightclub is a great place for flirting and other inter-sexual communications. I share this opinion. With only one amendment: if you yourself feel ok in such establishments. You need to hunt in a natural environment. If you can’t stand loud music, you experience asthma from flashing strobe lights and, in principle, you don’t feel very comfortable in a darkened room full of people, it makes no sense to read further. In order for everything to work out (and by “everything” I mean acquiring new acquaintances), you must radiate confidence and calm. And to simulate this will not help you even old Jack Daniels.

By the way, about drinks for courage. The textbook picture – a group of beginner clubbers occupies a table in the corner and decides to refuel slightly before going on the attack – is perfectly read by the girls. Guys drink and stare. They gawk and drink. And the more they drink, the more obvious to everyone around them how much these comrades feel at ease. At this moment, they themselves seem to be imposing machos, who, with all the comforts, are ambushed. But from the side, believe me, it looks like a meeting of a freshman pickup club. It’s easier to put a poster on your chest: “I need a woman! Anyone! ”In short, a heartbreaking sight, just a nightmare … Including because when the guys finally decide to leave their homes, they are obviously shaken and nothing more original than“ Girl, let’s get to know you? ”, They no longer able to say.

Therefore, my advice to you: if you came with friends, took a table, and you began to relax culturally – firstly, do not share with alcohol, and secondly, at least for the appearance, create the illusion that you are communicating with each other and are passionate this process is no less than the contemplation of the female neckline. That is, you do not rush into the battle not because you are not yet emboldened, but because you are such self-sufficient guys who just came to hang out and have a good time. This is much more correct from the point of view of self-positioning, than to stare at the dance floor in a mesmerized way, ignoring your table neighbors. You can glance at the dance floor from time to time and smile when you meet your eyes with some pretty girl. And the next time you make eye contact, for example, you can raise the glass up, as if you are clinking glasses with her.

For drinks, I would advise you to drop by the bar from time to time. Because in an ideal universe, the acquaintance and the transfer of the first sighting phrases takes place exactly at the bar, after which the young man says something in the spirit: “Take your cocktail and go to our table – there’s not so much noise and less crush.” Girls who come to the club almost never reserve seats, mostly hanging around on the dance floor and at the bar, so men are treated with understanding and approval for such a visit. In general, make a note in your notebook: a booked table may be expensive, but strategically true.

Another important point. Your super task is not just to make an acquaintance, but to end up kidding the girl from the club under the pretext of “drinking coffee”, “eating”, “taking a walk along the promenade and breathing in fresh air”. In short, change the place to a less noisy and more lighted one, where you do not need to shout, trying to shout down the music, and you can see each other better. Therefore, to get in touch – that is, start a plus or minus substantive conversation – is better not in the first half hour after joining the club, but when the party has already reached its climax.

The calculation is simple: if the girl arrived at 00:00, you approached her at 00:15, and offered to leave the institution at 00:30, perhaps she will not be very inspired by this scenario. She gathered for many hours, dressed up and now wants, pathetically speaking, to drink this night to the bottom – and you, it turns out, deprive her of such an opportunity. On the other hand, if you start a conversation at midnight, and then disappear from the radar, it is possible that by the time of the second contact your new acquaintance will be engaged and carried away by another job seeker. The summary is: we smile, wave, clink glasses, verbally report our sympathy and generously spray our pheromones on a stranger, anytime, even from the doorway. And we focus on one object, treat and call to your table a little later.

Why am I personally skeptical about dating in the process of dancing? No, I do not claim that the dance floor is, in principle, not the place for this. But here it is important to really assess your capabilities and rely on your true, rather than imaginary competitive advantages. If, for example, you took lessons from some salsa and made great progress in this matter, then, of course, you can and should demonstrate your unique sense of rhythm and plasticity. But there are only a few such born dancers. Most of them are either “stompers” or “clowns” who dance so absurdly that others want to look away from embarrassment.

There is another unpleasant type of dancing guys – let’s call them Patrick Swayze. Those that approach the girls are all so sweaty, sticky, with a shirt wide open on their chests and begin to attach themselves behind, making energetic movements in the groin and grabbing the potential partner by the hips. This is such a brrrrrr that I don’t even want to explain. Just never do it again. This is really disgusting.

Since we have smoothly moved on to what infuriates girls, here are a few more points.

  1. Enraged cavaliers who are too drunk and insistent that do not read “thank you, not interested” signals. If a girl doesn’t answer your smile and reacts to the offer to treat her with a cold “No, I don’t need anything from you”, do not persist and spoil the evening.
  2. Annoy the guys who stand at the bar and get acquainted with the “conveyor method”. After all, sometimes it comes to the ridiculous: a friend unsuccessfully tries to start a conversation with a girl who is standing on his left hand, breaks off, turns 180 degrees and without delay, and with the same text, begins to glue the girl standing on his right. It’s hard to position yourself as a more desperate and illegible guy. In addition, seeing how your predecessor sent you off, the next potential acquaintance is likely to do the same. So either change the location, or pause between attempts and try not to engage in self-citation, referring to all with the same words.
  3. Nervous guys who do not keep their distance. Everything is clear: it is dark, noisy, so you have to stand close and speak to each other in the ear. But if you feel that in response to your attempt to acquire a new acquaintance at the waist, the girl dodges from under your arm – slow down. Yes, in comparison with other locations, tactile contact is easier and faster to establish in night clubs, but not automatically. And this is important to remember.
  4. Finally, there are no worse cavaliers than those who drove their own heads: since the acquaintance takes place in a “hot spot”, then the girl a priori agrees to everything that is offered, including, disgusting sex in the toilet cubicle, after a couple of cocktails. So, you can behave arbitrarily.

Let me disappoint you: there is no such dependence. Club acquaintance can end as a spontaneous one-time sex in the morning, and a long relationship with a subsequent wedding. Therefore, control yourself.

Anyone who has something to say on a given topic is invited to comment. We share experience, catchphrases, valuable finds and universal techniques!

By Cindy
February 10, 2020

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