Flirting online: how far you can go and how dangerous it is(Part 1)

What can result in innocent communication on the Internet with an old friend of yours? Where is the line that should not be crossed?
“Well, what’s wrong with that?” – replies to me every first male acquaintance when I start the topic of online flirting. At first glance, everything really looks quite harmless. You do not change, and even perhaps seriously do not think about how to translate communication with a virtual stranger in real life. Just write to her. Often very naughty and personal things (although not the fact that you are sharing photos of your genitals).

Yes, you may feel a little guilty for chatting with some stranger girl while your own woman – girl friend / bride / wife – is sleeping safely in the next room. “Well, what’s wrong with that? – one married friend of mine defended his right to communicate on the network. – It can be said, my outlet. Don’t think, I understand everything perfectly and read all her moves – she plays with me. Only after all, I myself play! But it is so invigorating … Suddenly, so many emotions surged. But there is no problem: I can stop this at any time. I’ll just stop responding or delete my account. ”
Obviously, the moment of “acting out” the situation back was hopelessly missed by my friend. Anyway, to be honest, I have little faith in the fact that a person can voluntarily get off the “emotional needle” without being caught and uncovered. Especially if he was at the epicenter of a similar story for the first time.

Actually, that’s how it turned out. Correspondence with a stranger, which began with the exchange of likes on Fb, eventually dragged on for 3 months. And over time I went to a more than frivolous level. I can only guess how it all looked in the eyes of his wife. Although it always looks about the same. Endless peeping into the phone. “You go to sleep, dear, and I have … things to do.” A diffused smile addressed to the screen, against the background of a complete disconnection from real life and family affairs. Well, in short, that’s all.

In general, his legal half recognized everything. I felt, intuited, juxtaposed the facts, got into his phone, and even from the last few messages that he didn’t manage to erase, I realized that he had a “history” there. At the moment, my friend is sleeping on the couch. Whether the threat of divorce will be enforced is not known. And although the man did not allow himself “anything like that”, I do not exclude the possibility that the matter will go to extreme measures.

I happened to watch dozens of stories similar to this, and many of them really ended in parting. I, perhaps, will refrain from assessing whether a unfree man can afford such virtual hobbies? Should a woman threaten with divorce if there was no betrayal as such? And how right is the girl secretly inspecting the contents of her beloved’s phone / computer?

I confine myself to expressing my opinion on what we women may be ready to close our eyes to. And in what scenario is there a great chance that we will assign the situation the status of “betrayal” and “treason” with all the ensuing consequences. Because, if we are talking about an ordinary girl – not a fatally jealous and suspicious owner, but about the one who loves and is generally trusted (although it is possible that she checks it), her man’s correspondence with a stranger does not always turn into quarrels, scandals , link to the sofa, etc. And even if we clearly see: flirting, bastard! – this is still, perhaps, no reason to sound the alarm (and also – to beat the villain’s face or to beat the dishes in a tantrum).
We are well aware that there are times when, flirting on the Internet, a man just as if checks his previously pumped skills – aren’t they lost? Well, something like the former footballer sometimes goes on weekends to chase the ball with the boys in the yard. What is it? Decided to return to the big sport? No, just a test for himself: can I still? ..

Yes, perhaps the girl will not be particularly pleased to discover that you are flirting with someone on the network there or exchanging compliments. However, let’s not be cunning: we often organize such “self-tests” ourselves – we flirt with strangers in real life or online not with the aim of giving you horns, but just for the sake of flirting. A slight burst of adrenaline and a flattering sensation. If you allowed yourself something like that, theoretically you can understand, forgive and drive safely.

On the other hand, the stories that, being revealed (and in this matter I am a fatalist and convinced that the secret almost always becomes apparent), can destroy or cause serious damage to stable relations, there are a number of signs. And to them, according to women’s understanding, are moments that we will discuss in tomorrow’s article.

By Cindy
January 28, 2020

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