Fights by the rules: what should not be allowed during a quarrel?
Having a solid experience of scandals and observing quarreling couples, I have to say the following: any, even the most desperate removal of the brain must be carried out within certain boundaries, which must never be crossed (which is regularly forgotten by those for whom elevated communication is a common thing). Forbidden techniques that can fatally ruin a relationship, in my opinion, include:
- Taboo # 1: Fell all in one pile
If you clasped because of unwashed dishes, please do not, having exhausted all the arguments why, in your opinion, a woman in an embrace with the Fairy is a more organic phenomenon than a man with the same accessory to recall the offender all. Like, she is not only dirty, but also snores at night, incorrectly puts emphasis in words and, in general, looks idiotic in leggings.
A petty quarrel, which had every chance of resolving a fervent reconciliation sex, could easily open her eyes to the global differences between you. And, suddenly realizing what you actually see her, the girl will probably think about it, but should you continue the relationship at all, since it turned out that you have so many complaints to her?
- Taboo # 2: Go and Run
The slamming of doors and running out in the night in shorts on bare feet – only in the cinema it looks spectacular and dramatic, but at the same time makes the woman realize how deeply she was wrong. In real life, things are different. Girls usually get really scared when a boyfriend nervously breaks off somewhere in the course of clarifying a relationship, only for the first time – they start ringing around train stations, hospitals, morgues and swear in their mind that they will never open their mouths again, just come back, love, just come back. Then, when the beloved gives the fight again, we are less and less afraid and more and more do not care.
Therefore, guys, I sincerely urge you, in principle, not to consider for yourself such an option as to escape. Well, or save this method for some really special case. Although it’s better not to do it at all. Firstly, because it doesn’t look so damn masculine. And secondly, few people manage not to abuse it. If you once slammed the door, thereby formally putting an end to a quarrel (the keyword is “formally”), the temptation to repeat this is great. Especially when your brain is taken out for a long time, enthusiastically, the dawn has already begun to creep, and the girl still can not calm down …
But the more often you literally run away from a problem, the less meaning and weight this gesture will have for a girl. And the more unresolved disagreements you will accumulate, which one day may fall upon the relationship of Hurricane Katrina and leave no stone unturned.
- Taboo # 3: Speculate
This is about the same as with shoots. A man who, at the slightest pressure, begins to yell: “Since you are not happy with how I make my bed, maybe then we should leave?” – firstly, it looks like a natural hysteric. And secondly, it broadcasts a very dangerous idea: relations have such a meager, simply insignificant value for him, that he is simply ready to abandon them. But there is nothing more dangerous than dropping into the woman’s head the thought that she is not valued.
- Taboo # 4: scandal with witnesses
I am not talking about scandals in public places, when strangers are forced to enjoy your mutual insults. It is simply ugly and generally dishonest to people who came to drink / chew a salad / watch a movie calmly. But not as dangerous as the battles started in the presence of friends and relatives. Unwilling witnesses to your skirmish are unlikely to ignore everything you said to each other. You may shout at each other – and forget. And girls’ friends / sisters / aunts, etc. can easily come to the conclusion that you are a rough cattle, and in general, it is not worthy. And do not hesitate: on occasion, they will surely voice their conclusions, which, ultimately, can raise doubts in the girl herself, and do you and her along the way?
- Taboo # 5: Swearing in bed
I know that for many women it’s kind of a hobby to improve relationships at night. The boyfriend just dropped his head on the pillow as the girl started a conversation, which after 5 minutes spills out into a natural quarrel. Very often, by the way, because a dormant man responds out of place and without proper involvement. But this is not about that. And the fact that in situations like this, you need to immediately leave the bed and go scandal to the kitchen, bathroom, stairwell, balcony. In short, anywhere, just to be away from bed. Associations are a powerful thing. The more often you quarrel in bed, the less this place will be associated with something pleasant and exciting, such as sex. Over time, the place, which, in theory, should be the main springboard for reconciliation, will lose all its magic and will be perceived by both of you as another battlefield. And conflicts, coupled with problems with sex, are a reliable way to ruin relationships.
- Taboo # 6: Cross the border
Each one has her own. But, unfortunately, few of us in the “peace time” think about where exactly it takes place. Is it possible, for example, to call a girl friend a “fool”? And the obscene equivalent? Hacking is, of course, bad, but what about a sobering slap in the face? And if she was the first to open her arms? ..
Usually, a person realizes that he allowed himself too much only a moment after doing things. Most immediately begin to repent, fall at their feet and swear that this will never happen again. And sincerely believes that it will be so. But practice shows: every time you crossed the line of permissible (albeit, and repenting after), this very border imperceptibly shifts. And the chance is great that next time you will go further. And then another, and even further … Not by malicious intent and not because of a maniac. This is just human nature: if you were forgiven for the outcome, then it turns out, and it wasn’t such a terrible crime. And the statistics of domestic killings, unfortunately, confirms this truth.
Therefore, guys, if you have not already done so, I actively urge you to spend some time, theoretizing and formulating for yourself, which you will never and under no circumstances allow yourself to do with your beloved woman. No matter how unbearable infection it may be. Whatever wild fortels she allowed herself. No matter how you get it or bring it. Just give yourself an honest masculine word that never and under no circumstances.
