How to keep romance in a relationship 365 days a year
Arranging the apogee of romanticism on a single day in the year – say, the birthday of a chosen one – is, of course, a good thing. And for those who have just begun to meet, it is very important to hold a holiday at the highest level. But, as I am regularly reminded in comments, this blog is read not only by “recruits”, but also by family / long-term relationship people. And another problem is much more urgent for them – how not to lose the corresponding mood year-round? After analyzing the positive experience of familiar couples (and watching happy couples is something like my professional hobby), I found out how they manage to maintain the desired degree in a relationship. I share the collected recipes with you.
The rules described below, of course, are true both for you, a man, and for your companions. And the notorious “they lived happily ever after” is achievable only on condition that they try, both make efforts. So you can either show / print the article to your half, or start encouraging it to do the right thing with your own example.
- Go on dates
Do not just have dinner outside the house, simultaneously discussing all the same pressing domestic problems as always, but arrange exactly what dates. Carefully choose a place, preferably where you have not been. Dressing up is for once not for business partners and superiors, but for each other. Gluttony, i.e. eat slowly and with feeling (and not with the thought that after the restaurant it would be nice to still have time to drop into the store). Look not at phones (they are generally better off), but at each other. In other words, to be together – not in a hurry and on the run, but voluntarily and thoroughly. And, if after a romantic dinner you suddenly have the thought that you can leave your child with your grandmother, and rent a hotel room yourself, this will be a correct, absolutely correct idea, which in no case can be ignored.
- Giving presents without a reason
Practice shows: on gifts on the occasion of the holidays, those for whom the red calendar day is the only chance to receive a present are usually fixated. Girls who from time to time bring something nice in their beak just like that – not necessarily “Tiffany”, but let at least a box with her favorite meringues – are unlikely to find fault if you don’t do anything on conditional Valentine’s Day Something stunning.
What else are spontaneous gifts good for (I saw something that she would like – I bought it right away and did not save the idea for the holiday)? And by the fact that they broadcast a very valuable thought for the partner: “I remember and think about you not only when you are around or circumstances require it, but always.”
- Take care of yourself
Cohabitation is usually fraught with the fact that over time, people begin to walk around the house in old ragged clothes, not close the toilet door, shave their legs / get rid of the vegetation in their nose not secretly, but for show … But how many people can fall as low as I’ve got a suitable half and I’m sure that now it’s finally possible to relax, not to go home at ease.
But comfort and domestic licentiousness are still different things. And those who do not see the difference, usually very soon in the eyes of a partner begin to look like a shaggy, asexual creature in faded trainings, with whom I do not even want to have sex, or even just sit on the same couch. And there is only one antidote: immediately (well, or the sooner the better) draw a line in the naturalism of your manifestations, which you will not cross under any condition.
- Do not rub each other’s nerves in vain
I even have a special theory on this subject – it is called the “theory of tears”. And in short, the essence of it is that for each person we have measured a certain number of tears. And the more often you will rub your partner’s nerves, the faster they will exhaust all of them and, accordingly, the inevitable will come indifference, alienation and general numbness of feelings.
Yes, there are “adrenaline addicts” who cannot survive for weeks without having to arrange a stormy showdown for each other (and then put up violently). But they are a special case. The majority nevertheless wants from a relationship – especially long-playing ones – reciprocity, peace and the notorious “feeling of the rear.” And this goal is hardly achievable if you quarrel for any reason and without, not sparing each other’s feelings and nerve cells.
- Admire each other
For those who just found each other, the endless process of mutual stroking and positive reinforcements occurs naturally and as if by itself. Why do people begin to take each other’s merits for granted over time? Where does the magical ability to notice and celebrate the best in a partner go over the years? No idea. But she is clearly leaving in the same direction as mutual love. And if you have been living together for 5 years and all these years the girl has been cooking perfectly, then it seems like you don’t have to praise her with lasagna. A friend expertly parks – well, nothing surprising, because she has been driving for a long time. What is the use of liking photos of his wife on Instagram if you already see her every day? But there is a sense. As soon as a person begins to receive more positive emotions from the outside than within the family, thoughts inevitably come, and hell is such a family in general?
- Remember that the main thing is “WE”
More precisely, you. Both, two. And, no matter how many children you bring into the world, you should not focus your life solely and exclusively on them and their needs, which – experienced parents will confirm – are infinite, like the Universe. And no matter what career ambitions you have, you cannot declare that work is more important than, say, an anniversary celebration. Redistribute resources – yes, of course, as without it. But don’t sacrifice! Always, in any situation, YOUR common interests and YOUR time should remain.
