5 reasons to forget an ex-girlfriend forever
I don’t keep statistics, but according to my inner feelings, about a third of the questions that guys ask me relate to relations with former ones. In particular, attempts to resurrect relations with them.
In short, in my opinion, a renaissance with an ex-girlfriend when it comes to reuniting months or years after the breakup is a bad idea.
Exceptions, of course, come from each rule. Each of us has a friend or friend of a friend who knows the story when he and she remarried or even got married a second time and now live happily and amiably.
But in most cases, comeback, I repeat, is a bad idea. Disgusting even. And that’s why.
- She did not become different
Habits change, but personality traits do not. No matter how much you, for example, would like to believe that it has turned from bitchhole into a tender and reverent little fairy, this is not so. Your ex could learn new, more delicate and non-obvious ways to tell you that you are an idiot.
But if the girl’s basic settings have the option to “blame all problems first of all on others, and not yourself,” even after the reunion you will always be extreme. Just in less offensive terms than before.
- You remained the same for her
The vast majority of people are extremely reluctant to part with their ideas about others. And no matter how you strive to start from scratch, or try to look at each other in a new way, this is hardly possible. Yes, at first you will probably flounder in the waves of sentimentality and nostalgia, deliberately thinking and remembering only the good. But the past – with all its insults, careless words – has not gone away. And it will not allow you to be as carefree, spontaneous, delightfully naive and delightfully trusting as you were when you first met.
- The voice of nostalgia can be confused with the voice of love
Here you are, let’s say, met a few months / years after the breakup, you hugged her like a friend, dived into the cloud of a familiar perfume and, to your own great surprise, suddenly found that he still cares about you. And she herself – all so fragrant, smiling and dear – you also care.
And are you really sure that you will be able to reflect that it is in fact – again flashed feelings or ordinary nostalgia, without which no meeting of the former can do? Oh, well, you, as I look, damn self-confident type! These usually get especially raked on the forehead. And going up to the mirror, they discover that the resulting bruise is far from the first.
- In addition to the general, each of you now has a personal past
If a decent amount of time has passed between point A (your parting) and point B (the decision to try again), there is a good chance that your ex was lonely even not only embroidering satin stitches and watching Downton Abbey. Perhaps now it seems unimportant to you what she did there and with whom. After all, formally at that time you were not a couple.
- You deny yourself the future
The future with its uncertainty is scary, it is a fact. A friend of mine, when asked what kind of a fig he had come with his ex, who had drunk enough of his blood at one time, honestly answered me: “I was tired of going on dates. All wrong. And when it will be and whether there will be “that” at all is unknown. And the unknown bothers me. ”
And if it seemed to you that I urge you not to be afraid to go forward, to try and try, then it didn’t seem to you. Let go of the past and you will receive the future. It’s easier, of course, to say than to do. But you can start at least by erasing the phone of your ex and stop monitoring her life on social networks. After all, if the universe had not prepared anything worthwhile for you in the future, Tinder would still not have been invented.
