After the conflict:how to behave after a quarrel with a girl
The ability to cope with female emotions is one of the most important things that any man must master for a harmonious and happy relationship. Whoever says anything, and couples in which there are no quarrels do not exist. The problem is that some situations a girl can take to heart, after which she herself does not make contact. That is, these situations need to be resolved somehow – it is desirable that both should be well in the end.
A typical situation: you have a quarrel, and instead of understanding why it happened, you embark on mutual accusations. This is wrong, but much easier than comprehending each conflict and finding a solution for yourself. Right? Usually both are to blame, and expect that the conflict will resolve itself or that the opposite side will back down and admit guilt. But in the first case, resentment does not go anywhere, and in the second, it remains with one person. Both that and another leads to big troubles in the future. Problems need to be solved here and now.
And below I will tell you how.
- You are to blame.
It is not always possible to avoid a quarrel, and speaking out is often useful. The important thing is what happens after: each of the participants in the conflict once again thinks and analyzes everything. And here lies the key point. Usually both partners blame each other, and then, having calmed down, once again scroll through the situation, remaining with their subjective opinion. That is, they find even more evidence of their right and wrong opponent.
But the reality is that both are to blame. Even if this is a situation where one of the partners made a clear puncture, the fault of the second is that, as a rule, he reacts incorrectly. Therefore, you need to focus on yourself – where exactly are you wrong. You are the man here, and acknowledging your own wrong is a man’s deed. Do not hesitate, a woman will notice this. Just do not need to take absolutely any blame on yourself. Understand your real mistakes. Absolutely everyone is mistaken, but not everyone is ready to work on themselves.
Then it will be easier for you to defend your position, because if you are really wrong – after a while you will admit it.
You turned out to be wrong. To blame. Your position was wrong. Be a man – accept full responsibility. Explain to her that you will try not to do this anymore. Be calm and confident: don’t hysteria, don’t cry, don’t give up. Apologize exactly once – looking into the eyes, calmly. But do not try to lose your dignity or be rude.
This is much better than being guilty of trying to “buy forgiveness.” Huge bouquets and gifts will not save the situation – at most once. Then she will get tired of this appeasement, especially since this does not correct the situation, but even on the contrary – provokes a relapse. A pleasant surprise is good only when the conflict itself is settled and you need to cheer you up.
- The girl is to blame.
Girls are much trickier and more sophisticated than guys. In addition, we are more experienced in quarrels. Therefore, very often girls do not go to put up, even if they messed up themselves. They just wait and, as a rule, wait for the guy to come by himself. However, this gives a bad signal: “Keep up the good work, next time I will come first again.” Your task is not to do so.
But not so simple. Perhaps she still does not understand that this is impossible with you. Then the move for you is just not to apologize. You should talk to her. But you need to do this as consistently as possible. Therefore, make sure to begin with that you have completely calmed down and cooled down. But you didn’t come with your head bowed – remember this.
In order for her to understand your position, you must understand her yourself: the girl is guilty, does not want to admit it, does not go to put up and expects this from you. In my opinion, this is not fair. Surely you do not want such an attitude towards yourself. So explain it to her: “It seems that you think that I am guilty of our quarrel, which means you don’t understand your guilt. Well, I want to explain what it is and why it upset me, what I felt. ”
In general, you see that there are no situations in which both partners are divided in corners and, like children, do not go to put up. You are to blame – go to her. She is to blame – wait; if it doesn’t come, go to her and explain that she played too much.
Fair? Right? Like a man!
Perhaps you missed something and did not take it into account when you analyzed the quarrel yourself.
