Excuses that work! (Part 1)

In this list of sins, choose the ones that are best for you and find out how to receive forgiveness for them.

The Return of the Prodigal

When you returned home at three in the morning, you tried to quietly sit in bed with her, forgetting to take off her shoes and put out a cigarette. Unnoticed – failed. After listening to the heartbreaking story of how she was worried and was ready to start phoning all the hospitals and morgues (probably these are your favorite places in the world), you did not find anything better than lying that you stayed at work.

What to say next time?
A. And what, now we have curfew?
B. Thank you for trusting me when I meet friends.
Q. Once you wake up anyway, maybe you can quickly figure something on the table?

Correct answer: B
The most important words in this phrase are at the beginning. If you just told the girl that you were with friends, you would only add fuel to the fire. While she was waiting, she had to worry not only for you, but also for herself (because you could spend this time with your ex). Fortunately, you saved yourself from having to justify yourself and get confused in your testimonies when you started talking about your relationship. Moreover, he presented them in a winning light, calling them confidential. This approach will be appreciated (women love conversations on the topic of mutual trust), and you will be able to put to sleep both the girl and her vigilance.

 Mamativ of Crime

In the midst of a family celebration, you mocked her mother. For example, he could not resist and uttered an impromptu toast. And then all evening I returned to this topic, asking her mother if there really are many wild monkeys in Brazil. And in response to the girl’s reproaches, he replied: “Come on, Donna Rosa, I was joking.”

What to say next time?
A. Now I understand who you are such a bitch!
B. And what, I had to shave her mustache?
Q. If you think that your mother was really offended, I will call her in the morning and apologize.

Correct answer: B
So you will make it clear that the feelings of her loved ones (this strange panopticon, all of which are endowed with a fine spiritual organization) are not indifferent to you. Most likely, the matter will not reach the bell. But if you answer differently, she will surely call her mom and tell about your heartlessness. Never openly show your neglect of her mother, even if the girl sometimes allows herself to do so. This is her mother – she does what she wants with her.


You again did not call for work at her, so that later you could have dinner together somewhere, as you agreed. But she, “like a fool,” twice reminded you of your joint plans over the phone. Dry explanation: “Sorry, forgot to call in” – not a ride.

What to say next time?
A. No, I remembered everything perfectly. It just somehow didn’t work out …
B. I drank too much to drive. You don’t want my rights taken away?
Q. Sorry, I got really wrapped up and became very absent-minded. Maybe you can help me?

Correct answer: B
Women like it when you admit your mistakes. And so we have to go all our lives with the stigma of “weaker sex”. Show from time to time that you too are far from perfect. After all, you do not consider yourself really the crown of creation? In addition, your sincere request for help will awaken her maternal feelings, which she, for lack of an alternative, will turn on you.

Non-normative norm

“That’s because ### !!! &&& !!! what *** !!! %%% came out !!! bad luck №№№ !!! ”, involuntarily broke out when you, having missed, burnt your cheek with a car cigarette lighter. Such a non-motivated verbal reaction gives any woman the right to be offended and express her displeasure. However, instead of the expected apology, you only grunted: “Oh, how gentle we are!”

What to say next time?
A. Do you have critical days?
B. Do not worry, if I want to offend you, you will immediately understand this, fat woman!
B. Explain why you didn’t like it, and I’ll try not to do that again.

Correct answer: B
With such a gentleman’s answer, you will kill two birds with one stone. First hare: you show your willingness to change for her, and not vice versa. The girl does not want to feel like a boot, which, although it presses for the first time, sooner or later it is still spreading and rubbing on your foot. The second hare: you invite her to talk heart to heart! The girls are not spoiled by such requests. It is quite possible that she is numb from surprise, and the long-awaited silence will finally come in the car.

 Fast fornication

This time it all ended too quickly: she barely had time to undress … Maybe this is selfish, but you had a hard day (or what reason do you usually refer to in such cases?). Well, okay. You kiss her on the cheek and, muttering under her nose: “I’m sorry,” you get up to find the remote control from the TV. Where he lies, you can not even ask the girl. Now she is offended by you and will not answer anything. And not so much because of your sprint race, but because you pretend that nothing special happened.

What to say next time?
A. Lord, you are so good! I just could not help myself! I feel like a 16 year old boy.
B. I do not want to miss the start of the match.
Q. I hope you can do it yourself later.

Correct answer: A
Better words in this situation can not be found. Since you were not able to satisfy her physically, you simply have to give her pleasure at least with your compliment. And not one. Who knows, maybe if you are sincere enough, she even pretends to be an orgasm.

By Cindy
December 27, 2019

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