10 commandments of family life – live together for a long time and, possibly, even happily(Part 1)

The sacred dozen rules of living together, which must be carved in granite and hang on the refrigerator.

Why commandments and not rules? Well, actually the “commandments” sound more beautiful than the “rules”. But most importantly, I wanted to emphasize their importance and sacredness. Indeed, if you obey these commandments without fail, the probability of living together for a long time and, possibly, even happily increases greatly. Take a chance?

• Do not tell your wife about your adultery

Everyone has weaknesses. Some weaknesses have a fourth bust size, long legs and silky hair. And then, as luck would have it, a corporate outing and a box of whiskey, stealthily brought in a backpack by the head of the personnel department. Or, say, a business trip. How lonely it is in an anonymous hotel room! .. In general, stumbled. It happens to everyone. But this does not mean that upon returning home, you need to embarrassed, drawing the toe of the boot on the floor, to start from afar: “Honey, you won’t believe what happened to me …” Does guilt torment you? Fine. Consider this your payment for the deed. So, if you have sinned, be a man. Periodic infidelity with different women – that’s nothing. Another thing is when you start someone constantly and weekly cut out a place in your schedule for treason. Here it is already worth worrying about whether with that girl you throw logs into the hearth.

• Honor your father and your mother, but always take the side of your wife

Sooner or later (as a rule, even when it happens late, it happens anyway earlier than one would like) your personal woman will enter into a dispute with another representative of your family. And nothing else if it turns out to be an incomprehensible drunken visiting relative. What if it’s your own mother? And, of course, no forces will save you from a collision with the girl’s father on the question of which marinade is better – with lime or lemon. Unfortunately, at such moments you should consciously forget about such human mechanisms as logic and justice, and resort, on the contrary, to the most primitive – under the name of “protecting your female”. Yes, perhaps this tactic threatens you with the loss of relatives. But relatives will not give birth to you offspring. Relatives will not hand over your set of shirt-fronts. Relatives will not chatter for many months in the evenings: “Remember when your mother called me“ a self-serving prostitute, ”you laughed and translated the topic?“ But the girl will be. Even worse, there is a risk that the partner will cease to perceive you as her defender and, therefore, your home as a safe place. Today you surrendered it to your mother, and tomorrow you will sell it to Turkish slavery! (The latter, by the way, girls perceive easier than a quarrel with the mother-in-law.) Therefore, always take her side. In the end, your parents will forgive you. Someday. Probably.

• Do not pronounce the word “divorce”, because the one who pronounces this word in vain will not be left without punishment

Words have no power. But do not underestimate the power of words in a two-person relationship. After all, man is an inspired being. Especially the one who spends most of his life with you. So, once the spoken word “divorce” can give rise to seditious thought in the head of a partner: “Maybe, with a divorce, it really will get better?” There is another situation. Often, one of the partners threatens to part with trying to keep the other, scare him, not suspecting that such tactics could lead to the exact opposite result. A person living in constant fear of losing a partner can get very, very much tired of this fear. So much so that at some point the next threat “Let’s part!” Will answer: “Come on.” So never, never, and again, never say the word “divorce” out loud. And to yourself – as much as you like.

• Do not reproach your wife in public, for the public has a memory

Finding out relationships in a public place, whether it’s a restaurant, a dolphinarium or a classmate’s apartment, is impolite. It is believed that the subtleties of your relationship, domestic and sexual, are uninteresting to others. And although in fact we all know that this is not so and when shouting “Do you also snore during sex!” The eyes of others are lit up by an eager shine, and ears are covered with perspiration, nevertheless one should refrain from publicity.

• Do not desire your housekeeper! But first, hire her

Of course, everyone has different financial possibilities, but the services of an au pair today can be afforded to everyone (even au pair assistants can afford an au pair). For a small amount per month, you will save your girlfriend from a number of annoying responsibilities. Why would she waste her gemologist’s talent for folding clothes into piles and turning dry dust into wet dust with a mop? Better to devote yourself fully to work and at the same time earn money for your joint vacation. You will be surprised how the appearance of another woman in your life will decrease the number of girl’s reproaches against you. You will no longer have to endure undeserved insults for the fact that you accidentally emptied an ashtray into a basket with dirty linen, because now it is not your girlfriend’s problem, but your housekeeper. But you should remember an important point: be sure to choose a housekeeper with his wife. It is important for you not to cause your girlfriend unreasonable (or justified) jealousy. And, by the way, keep in mind that some especially suspicious girls intentionally hire someone more sympathetic to check the degree of your loyalty. Therefore, the question of choosing an assistant can not be given to the girl at the mercy.