The rules of a good halftone. 5 embarrassing mistakes when dealing with a woman

How to open the doors leading to the female soul.

You men love to come up with rules. If you come across something more complicated than a cotton swab, you are immediately trying to compose an instruction manual for this. Of course, men could not get past such a complex engineering object as a woman. Therefore, once upon a time rules were developed for dealing with a woman called etiquette.

In fact, the rules of etiquette were originally drawn up in order to record the relationship between men – all kinds of popes, tyrants, counts and landless knights there. And only small, in footnotes, in these rules, notes were written in some places like “Well, if, noble gentlemen, this vessel of indecency, called the Wife, has been huddled in your high society …

But! Firstly, women have since changed slightly (have you noticed the irony with which I use this word?). Secondly, then these rules should not have been taken literally.

No, I’m not going to teach you how to behave. You are already gallant to the impossibility.

Closed door
Very nice when you open it in front of me. Thank. Otherwise, I would have sat in front of her forever.

Although, if a secret, ts-s! – I also know how to open doors. Yes, yes, yes … and sometimes it even works out pretty well for me. When no one sees, I always open the doors myself, boldly leaning on the wings with a fragile shoulder.
Keep it simple
May all doors be open to me in a metaphorical sense. But if I myself made an attempt to attack the input device, let me finish this operation. Be especially careful with doors that open on both sides (there probably is some kind of term for them, but I don’t know, sorry). Men usually push such a door. Women tend to pull on themselves. I didn’t have this habit even after that displacement of the wrist joint …

Hanger
Your ability to beautifully shake me out of my clothes can come in handy for both of us in life. But a little later, when we come to your home. If we come.

In the meantime, we just went to eat. So take your time. After all, did you notice the strange gestures that your companion makes, having already unfastened his fur coat, but still not having removed it to the end? So, you were wrong. This rustling undercover is just an attempt quickly and quietly …

A) correct the straps;

B) tighten stockings;

B) pull out the underwear from … well, it doesn’t matter;

D) and so on.

You see, I have to get out of the fur coat, like Aphrodite from the foam, in all its splendor. If you hurry to remove this coat from me, God knows in what form I will appear before you or other visitors to this eatery.

Keep it simple
Do not run behind me, even if I have already unfastened all the buttons on my outer clothing. If I expect gallantry from you, then I will turn to you myself (at least sideways). Or I will lower my arms along the body, slightly putting my elbows back. Having noticed these signs, boldly grab my outer clothing.

Stairs
Previously, a man was forbidden to climb the stairs for a woman – he, poor, could have an uneven hour, see her ankle and forever be damaged in his mind. After the sexual revolution, the situation with my ankles was noticeably simplified.

And now I risk on the stairs to see a strip of your pale hairy skin between the toe and the edge of the trousers. This often happens when you climb ahead of me with vigorous jumps over a step.

Keep it simple
Forget the old-fashioned etiquette and remember the following. On the stairs, it is more appropriate for a man to always be lower than a woman. That is, you should ascend after me, and descend, on the contrary, ahead of me. Theoretically, this is all done so that you can catch me if I stumble.

Table and chair
If I moved the chair back for myself, I would definitely remove it at the last moment with a sharp movement. It’s ridiculous. True, funny. And the fact that you hold back from this joke and push the chair to a certain limit is very, very good. But could you push him a little further, huh? Well, I’m not so thin and airy …

But telling you this plain text is somehow embarrassing, and I heroically squeeze through the shaky gap between the chair and the table, exhaling with such zeal that my stomach sticks to the spine with a vacuum. After which I usually get a chair under my knees, and while I fall back, the gentleman manages to push the seat under me and then with a powerful movement imprints me with the chair on the table with his chest.

Keep it simple
Just move the chair back – that’s your mission. Then just stand nearby and lightly touch your back with his fingers while I settle there.

Cargo
Cavaliers who automatically tear out any burden from my hands probably never seriously thought about how a mature, adult man looks from the side, walking along the street with an organza handbag decorated with macaques.

Keep it simple

Plastic bags not too full of rubbish, ladies’ folded umbrellas and handbags – this is not your cross. Do not wear them.