16 rules of living together that you are NOT obligated to abide by

What to do if romantic ideals are tired and harmful to your good mood?

Congratulations, you are starting to live with a new girl!

Of course, this time everything will be different: you will always be together and die in one day. The only thing that can hinder you in this good undertaking is romantic illusions that accompany the beginning of a joint life. I have compiled for your couple a list of the most common and dangerous illusions so that they never parted you. Better to separate the stripper!

1. We will never quarrel!

How, how can you quarrel with this wonderful creature with silky hair and a voice ringing like a brook? Even if she thinks so of you, believe me, this is not for long. It is enough to wash your sneakers once with her shampoo, ordered by mail from New Zealand, and her eyes will become bloodshot. And you, I bet, will not tolerate her habit of joking about the size of your plasma in the presence of friends. In general, the bad news: quarrels are inevitable. The good news is that quarrels benefit relationships. In general, the total absence of quarrels is the first sign of an impending break. After all, if you have nothing to find out, you are indifferent to each other. So quarrel. But wisely.

For example, instead of shouting to a girl with a feeling “You cheated on me again with my beloved plumber, a nonsense woman with an incomplete higher education!”, Say: “I feel cheated and lonely when they cheat on me with a plumber.” “I-messages” will help you convey to the girl the very essence of your experiences. But the suppression and silence of insults in the name of the mythical commandment about the absence of quarrels in relations can lead to a deepening of misunderstanding and a subsequent break.

2. We will decorate our apartment together!
One of the main challenges that await you and your girlfriend on the bumpy road of life together is the collective decoration of the interior. No matter how you want the housing to reflect your taste, you must make sure that your partner does not begin to be allergic to certain objects of the environment. Agree as follows:

• One of her things against one of yours. For example, your exposition of old cell phones against her collection of pink netsuke;
• Develop a neutral interior that does not irritate either side;
• for the most extreme cases (a reproduction of “Girls with Peaches” in a golden frame), enter the veto right. If you compromise, then everyone.

3. We will get a dog (cat, iguana) and we will take care of it together!

In principle, the idea is not bad: relations are more stable if partners have some common cause. Such a common thing may well be a dog or cat. But, before you run to the Pomeranian Spitz farm, think carefully. If you don’t like dogs from childhood and experience an inexplicable fear of a cat mustache, most likely, and now nothing will change. Perhaps, under the influence of feelings for the girl, you will even engage in self-deception, trying to convince yourself that the cat’s mustache is fearless and the dogs are pleasant. But a little time will pass – and now the joint care of the animal will turn into a nightmare of nightly walks and a calving tray replacement. And there, and before mutual hatred paw file.

4. We will reveal passwords and appearances to each other!

Of course, you can give her a password from your mail, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the forum of card house lovers. But know: the next time you get the message “I missed you and washed your socks”, you will have to prove for a long, very long time that your mother is hiding under the nickname Annie Sexy Baby.

Access to sacred information can corrupt even the most sane person, and mutual trust very quickly turns into mutual surveillance. And now, under cover of night, you eagerly flipping a friend-tape with a trembling hand, tormented by the question of why this half-naked jock with a powerful jaw put your girlfriend as many as 14 likes this week. And at the last – 17! So keep your data to yourself. And to the question “Why don’t you want to give me a password?” Answer with patience: “I trust you and hope for trust in return.”

5. We will not have secrets from each other!

At the beginning of a relationship, the level of trust of partners towards each other goes through the roof. You want to tell her everything: from the case when you in the army ate a jar of jam, before you accidentally chopped up a neighbor with an ax. Do not rush. It’s better to keep some data with you, especially those that relate to past relationships. Some talk about their previous relationships in order to revitalize relationships, infuriate a partner. The reaction to such frankness may be different, but, as a rule, this is either an immediate quarrel or an undercurrent of resentment. The main danger lurking in this kind of information is the erosion of the idyllic image of a partner. So take care of partners from your past. Remember: only what is here and now is important. If the girl insists on a number, looking away, boldly answer: “Ten!” Researchers interviewed a thousand users of a dating site before displaying this universal number. With her, you do not run the risk of seeming a loser or too lucky.

6. We will not be shy!

There is such a thing as “borders” in a relationship. In each pair, the boundaries are set individually, but they are always there. And it’s better to discuss them right away. For example, someone calmly pisses with a partner, and the other is embarrassed to even brush his teeth. I knew a couple in which the husband forbade his wife to hold knitting needles in his presence, since he considered needlework to be asexual. Therefore, before you sign off Vivaldi’s “Spring” to the girl as a sign of eternal love and devotion, by leading questions (“I wonder if anyone tried to spit Vivaldi’s Spring”?) Try to find out her reaction to such a degree of closeness.

One more thing. It is incredible, but true: some women are jarred by the look of completely naked men, unless, of course, something like that is planned in the coming minutes.

7. We will adapt to each other’s regime!

The conflict of larks and owls is eternal, like the sun and moon. And, alas, is not subject to settlement. In no case should any of the partners sacrifice their regime. Remember that the reverse side of the victim is the aggressor. A night vigil can generate morning irritation and anger in a lark unusual for this bird. Regular early rising of owls will lead to the same result. So do not try to change your mode or your partner. Yes, perhaps due to different schedules you will be less likely to see each other. But the chances of getting tired of each other are greatly reduced.

8. Money issues will not bother us!

At first it seems that this is indeed so. You pay the bill in the restaurant, she gives you a tie; you buy popcorn at the cinema, she reads the credits for free during the whole session because you forgot points in the restaurant, etc. But suddenly you decide to come together. And then it turns out that your views on the financial sphere of life vary.

Let’s say she is convinced that a man should wallow on the couch around the clock and watch cricket broadcasts, while a woman should bring money to the house. You, in turn, believe that a woman must spend hours not getting out of the spa, enjoying exotic gingerbread wraps for the money earned by her man. Conflict is inevitable. Therefore, financial issues must be discussed in advance so as not to end up in an unacceptable situation for you.

There are many options for joint financial management, for example:

• You can deduct a certain amount each month in a general envelope;
• agree on the division of spending: she pays the bills, and you buy lashes with feathers.

If you still think that the topic of money is too slippery for discussion, then you either make a lot of money or you consciously live on dependent women.