Long-range Friend Tips: 10 Rules for Relations at a Distance (Part1)
Big is seen from afar. So your pure love also looks great from there. An article on how to maintain and even improve relationships while keeping a distance.
- Learn to compliment the handset
Do not be afraid to go too far with sentimental stupidities, and I’m not even afraid of this word, with lisp in telephone conversations. The fact is that during a normal conversation a considerable part of your positive attitude towards the interlocutor is conveyed by facial expression, eyes, gestures and intonation. Telephone communication eats all this, and therefore a person speaking in his usual manner seems much colder and more detached than he actually is. So boldly give the green light to all the kittens and the little ones who dare to sneak into your speech. The main thing is to try not to be caught by friends and colleagues. Another well-known management consultant, the author of a telephone etiquette manual, noted that it is advisable to enclose the secretary at the reception with a soundproofing shield, since “the exaggeratedly kind voices and expressions that the competent operators use quite wisely, cause a sense of falsehood and irritation among other employees.”
- Provide yourself with round-the-clock free communication
If you buy a microphone and download a free program, you can stay in touch around the clock and almost for free, even if you are half a planet apart. The effect of presence is amazing – there is a feeling that a person is in the same apartment as you. You can further streamline the process by using a video camera. But still it’s better to do without it: the feeling that you are constantly being watched is not so much touching, but annoying.
- Meet more often in neutral territories
She lives in Nebraska – you are in Istanbul. Why not make an appointment next time in Helsinki? So none of you will be saddened with secret thoughts on the subject: “Yeah, he flies when he wants to, and let me sit, wait, when he deigns to appear.” Or: “Is all this worth endlessly going back and forth, these damned planes, lack of sleep and big money, if I don’t seem to be too happy here?” And in an unusual place for both of you, you will have equal playing conditions: no “Hosts” and “guests”. On the contrary, you will not only be balanced, but also unmatched by the joint struggle for survival in trying to figure out how Finnish will be “a clean pillowcase, one thing, please.”
- Try to be more clear to her
Exotic tastes, language and appearance excite only in the first time. In the future, these charming dissimilarities (prayer at three in the morning, refusal to remove sombrero even at night), on the contrary, dampen. Still, for breeding, we try to choose a partner of the same kind with us … If you want to continue relations with a charming alien – sob, but learn her language, no matter how many syllables the word “sex” consisted of. Avoid the constant opposition between “you” and “with us” – let her understand that you are, by and large, the same guy as everyone. Just better.
- Do not expect too much from a meeting after a long break
Yes, if you are lucky, you will fall into each other’s arms – and thousands of silver canaries will sing about the strength of your feelings. But the canaries may not even be in the voice – this should be prepared in advance. And it’s not even that during your separation she managed to get a haircut under Bob Dylan and put herself sapphire braces. What is more important is that you and she will smell with your nose. A person receives only 2% of information about the world around him from the smell, but these 2% are decisive when it comes to intimacy (in this case, the word “intimate” means not only “sexual” – such tricks sometimes happen with this term). In order to feel incredibly yours this girl in a miniskirt, you need to sniff at her properly after separation (and she, too, by the way). If the receptors are able to recognize familiar smells, you’re in luck. If the receptors make sclerotics, it will be harder. The shorter the separation, the more likely it is that the pheromone portrait of the partner was not written off as unnecessary and after several days of painful memories everything will go as before.
