Free relationships: pitfalls, surface reefs and funny sharks

Free relationships seem to be the best invention of mankind after penicillin. But this is only in theory. In practice, everyone who enters into an open relationship wants to immediately speak out of them. And that’s why.

It sounds extremely seductive for both genders. We live together or almost live with you, because we are wonderful and treat each other well, even what is there, love each other. At the same time, no one demands anything from anyone, we remain free as the spring wind. And if one of us wants to experience butterflies in the stomach, dancing in honor of a new love, or, say, having just good sex with a dozen mulatto women, then please. The other will not say a word, and will not lift an eyebrow, and it will not affect our relationship, because we (options are possible here):
✔ free-thinking modern people;
✔ love each other in a special way;
✔ first of all – friends;
✔ cynics and libertines;
✔ creative natures;
✔ bisexual transgender people;
and so on.

But all this does not work. That does not work at all! World practice does not know when it would work, because even in the harem of the sultans, even in primitive tribes practicing promiscuity, even Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir inevitably turned it all into a nightmare of insults, hard drinking and throwing heavy objects .

This is something like the law of physics, one of Planck’s constants: “Free relationships are either very short or very painful.”
But there is one exception. Free relations can be long, if the partners absolutely do not care about each other. If they don’t even like each other. And together, for example, because he is a king, and she is the queen of France. Here, Heinrich of Navarre and Queen Margot had something like that, although they were not all that simple.
And everyone else can not count on anything. Here are seven main reasons why you will fail.


No matter what we say to each other and to ourselves, deep down inside each of us realizes that the partner does not really love us. At least not in love. We know very well that if he had a real passion for us, he would not agree to share us with anyone. The nature of passion is a rather greedy thing. Therefore, an open relationship is always a bit of a second type: “I’m with you, because it’s so convenient for me, and you’re nothing at all.” And nobody likes to feel like a second grade. This inevitably implies the following problem.


A close person is one you can rely on, no matter what happens. Therefore, strong large families – a powerful protection not only from external shocks, but also from internal problems. The child knows that the mother will always protect him; the wife is confident that the husband will risk her life for the sake of her salvation; the husband has no doubt that if a disaster happens, the wife will sit at his bedside and go to his cake to get the best medicines and find the best doctors. Because the mother has nothing more important than the children, the husband has no one closer than the wife.

This feeling of security and reliability is, in general, the biggest plus of the family. In a loose relationship, this reliability is rather illusive. For non-exclusive, so to speak, the contract. The question “Why do I give half of my salary to cover the debts of a girl who sleeps with some Jeremy from the gym?” Will periodically float in the most modern and free-thinking brain.

And in the meantime, the girl will unwittingly reflect on what the hell she is squandering on the wonderful Friday night to change the dressings to the citizen, who every Saturday goes to Julia from the philological department.


Most of the people who live now have a catastrophic lack of time even to lie down with their one and only girl embracing for a couple of other seasons of the Game of Thrones.

If there are more than two girls, this, frankly, does not improve the situation. Therefore, the “open relationship” also suggests that you will see far less than the average monogamous couple. And no, this is not necessarily the best. The frequency of direct contact for our species is a very important sign, which allows us to separate “our” from “alien”.

In addition, if one of the partners leads a free life full of adventures, at the same time that the second is sitting at home and sadly thinks that it would be nice if you came to him with a bottle of raspberry lemonade and kissed your nose, this again does not strengthen union. Because the union – this is when the lemonade certainly comes.


Yes, today we have invented remarkably effective means of protection against any unpleasant infections, and yet none of them will give one hundred percent guarantee that your free high relationship will not overshadow the basic need to treat chlamydia, gonorrhea, or anything worse.

And the partner who received such a gift will most likely not be delighted. But I have not yet mentioned possible pregnancies with unclear paternity!

By Cindy
July 20, 2019

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