You think your girlfriend loves these things. And she hates them!

Things women can’t stand, although you always thought you loved.

Joint bath

It is obvious that the bath of the standard sample was not conceived by nature as a storage place for two human individuals.

Giant toys

For years, a huge teddy bear will occupy living space, collect dust, and he cannot even be told: “Find a job!”

Flower delivery to work

Firstly, it is too common. Secondly, an attractive colleague who showed me tricks with a stapler is now aware that I have someone. Thirdly, my female colleagues are now placing buttons on my chair and looking at me over monitors. Yeah. Thanks for flowers.

Your female friend

Even if you and Katie never had anything and never have anything, she is still a woman. And this regrettable fact will always keep me in suspense.

Sleep in an embrace

It is impossible to achieve high-quality, deep sleep, if a snoring creature clings to you with a tight grip.

T-shirt that your mom bought you

Of course, I will say that the shirt with the inscription “My son is King” is cool and funny. Because I am a raised girl and do not swear.

Unexpected sex in messages

Believe me, my message “I miss your hands” does not require an answer “Then I’ll tear off your pajamas with these hands now!”. I just showed tenderness, and did not ask for sex by correspondence! Put my pajamas in place.

Your massage

No, a little to the right … Aaaaaaa !!! No, perhaps to the left … Oh, oh, oh! You know, it’s better there, yes … Aaaaaa !!! Something snapped ?!

When you do not ask for sex

It’s great, of course, that you respect my rights and desires as an individual and person and do not insist on sex … But in general, to hell with the law! The more often you ask, the more I become convinced of my own attractiveness.

Very sweet, intricate cocktails

It seems that this multi-layered multi-colored construction, covered with cream, cherries and sweets, is planning something bad. For example, poison me.

Your friend

“You won’t believe what Brody came up with this time!” – you exclaim, returning home wet, in burnt clothes and without an ear. Alas, men and women have slightly different ideas about fun. And I don’t find Brody charming. I think Brody is a psychopath. No wonder his wife left him, his second wife (it turned out that Brody was a polygamist) and he is registered wherever you can get registered.